


caught myself holding your hand

by twicelucky



Series: under the table [1]
Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Hate to Love, M/M, bambam is a food blogger, implied past jaebum and jackson, jackson owns restaurants, jaebum is a highkey fuckboy in the beginning, jaebum is a producer, jaebum is not as straight as he thinks he is, jinyoung is an architect, mark is a songwriter, some internalized homophobia, youngjae is a veterinary student, yugyeom has a crush on youngjae initially, yugyeom is a grad student
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-17 19:05:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 22,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13665384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twicelucky/pseuds/twicelucky
Summary: Yugyeom was supposed to be stuck crushing forever on someone who was never going to like him back. He really wasn’t supposed to fall for Jaebum.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Something a little different for me. Idk, this really took on a life of its own. It'll be only two parts. Title from 'Bad Behaviour' by True Blue.

If Yugyeom were to go back in time, and place blame on the whole thing, he would say that it was because of Bambam.

He’s been dragged to a new restaurant in Hongdae that Bambam got invited to review on his blog, because Bambam always needs someone to help him take photos, and Youngjae has class.

Bambam is taking arty photos of the plating, and Yugyeom can’t eat his food until Bambam finishes taking enough pictures. His eyes scan the restaurant, taking in the other people. Like most of the restaurants Bambam drags him to, it’s upscale, full of trendy young people in expensive clothes who are there to see and be seen around other trendy young people. In a way, Yugyeom feels out of place. He’s young, but he’s just wearing the clothes he wore to university earlier that day for a seminar. He’s not dressed like Bambam, in painted on jeans and a designer shirt and shoes.

There’s a table of leggy girls, all taking turns to pose in front of the view for photos, a man eating alone with gusto looking as if he just stepped off a runway, and a couple still deciding what to order from the menu. 

Seated closest to them is another couple, who seem to be sitting in silence. The woman is tapping away at her phone, while the man looks deep in thought. As if he senses Yugyeom looking at him, he turns to make eye contact with Yugyeom, and Yugyeom practically startles.

The guy is hot in that dark and serious way: black hair styled up off his forehead, eyes almost cutting in their intensity, and piercings shining in the dim ambient lighting. The woman sitting across from him is gorgeous, and they cut a striking image -- the two of them dressed in chic black clothes. It’s intimidating, Yugyeom thinks.

He turns away quickly, wanting to avoid the guy’s gaze. He can practically feel it on his back, and it makes him uncomfortable. He doesn’t like guys like that, that take up too much space in the room just by being there, like their presence somehow is better than everyone else’s.  

Not Yugyeom’s type at all. He likes clean-cut and nice guys, who like dogs, and call their moms.

“There’s a guy staring at you.” Bambam says, unhelpfully, looking up finally from his camera.

“I know.” Yugyeom replies, finally allowed to take a bite from his plate.

“He’s hot.” Bambam says, clearly looking past Yugyeom’s shoulder to stare at the guy.

“Not really.”

“No, he’s like really hot Gyeom-ah.” Bambam says slowly.

“I’m not interested.” Yugyeom repeats, emphasizing the word ‘not’.

“I’m just saying. You’re single, and he’s staring.” Yugyeom just snorts.

“I’m not single enough to go for anyone who stares at me. He looks like a creep.”

“A hot creep!”

“We’re in a restaurant. He’s across from his girlfriend. What’s he even going to do?” Yugyeom asks. His very gorgeous girlfriend, Yugyeom can’t help but notice. There must be something on his face for the guy to stare at Yugyeom like that, instead of the beautiful woman sitting across from him.

“It could be his sister. Or a friend.” Bambam says, looking a little too excited.

“Just eat your food.” Yugyeom grumbles.

\--

After they finish eating, Bambam has to take some photos of the restaurant, to properly capture the atmosphere, or something, and so Yugyeom goes to the bathroom while he waits. 

He’s just washing his hands when the door opens, and someone else comes in the bathroom.

“Hey.” A voice says confidently from beside him. Yugyeom doesn’t turn, but flicks his eyes up in the mirror to find the guy from earlier standing beside him. He flicks his eyes right back down. Yugyeom has the instant urge to run away. He’s just trying to figure out what the guy wants from him.

“Hello.” He says, still not turning to face the guy, scrubbing his hands vigorously.

“I was looking at you earlier.” His voice is smooth and low. He’s clearly putting a tone on to try and impress Yugyeom or something, Yugyeom realizes.

“Oh.” Yugyeom replies, unsure how to even answer.

“Yeah.” The guy says. “I think you saw me looking at you.” He almost purrs. It’s distractingly hot, Yugyeom thinks, and then curses himself for thinking that. _He’s not your type_ , he tries to remind himself.

“I guess I thought I knew you. But we haven’t met before.” Yugyeom lies.

“Im Jaebum.”

“Hmm?” Yugyeom asks, actually turning to face the guy, who flashes him a smile. It’s more predatory than friendly. He’s slightly shorter than Yugyeom but a bit broader, and it makes him seem intimidating.

“I’m Im Jaebum.” The man clarifies.

“Okay.”

“Usually, people offer their name in exchange.” Im Jaebum says, after waiting a beat and Yugyeom doesn’t give him his name.

“Good for them.” Yugyeom says. “But I don’t want to tell you my name.”

“Alright.” Im Jaebum says, like Yugyeom has just presented him with a challenge.

Except-

“Yugyeom? Are you in here? I need you to take photos for me.” Bambam says loudly, peeking his head in the bathroom. Yugyeom hits his fist against his forehead. Of course Bambam would do that, he thinks bitterly. Now the scary guy knows his name. “Oh. Sorry to interrupt.” Bambam says quickly, putting his hands up.

“You’re not interrupting anything.” Yugyeom says quickly, taking the opportunity to escape. He doesn’t miss in the mirror that Im Jaebum has a grin on his face as he watches Yugyeom flee.

\--

Youngjae is already home from the veterinary clinic when they make it home, looking exhausted, but he lights right up when Yugyeom holds up the bag of leftovers.

“For me?” He asks.

“Duh.” Bambam says. “I’ll have to take you there sometime, I think you’d love the food.”

“Ugh. It smells good. I’m going to eat this and then pass out.” Youngjae practically groans.

“You need to sleep more hyung.” Yugyeom nags, only for Youngjae to roll his eyes.

“I know, I know.”

“Hey! What were you and that guy talking about?” Bambam asks suddenly.

“Which guy?” Youngjae asks.

“Nobody.” Yugyeom answers.

“This hot guy Yugyeom was talking to at the restaurant.”

“Ooh!”

“We weren’t really talking.”

“Then what were you doing when I came in the bathroom?”

“Nothing!”

“Yugyeom! It’s a sign!” Bambam hisses.

“A sign of what?” Youngjae asks. “That you’re insane?”

“We already knew that.” Yugyeom says.

“No! That you and the hot guy are meant to be!”

“The scary guy?” Youngjae asks Yugyeom, and he nods in response.

“No! He wasn’t scary. He was just, you know, the badboy type.”

“Yugyeom doesn’t like guys like that though.” Youngjae says. Bambam rolls his eyes.

“Thank you Youngjae.” Yugyeom says, slinging an arm around Youngjae’s shoulder, and ignoring the way his heartbeat speeds up. “The only person I can trust.”

“As you should.” Youngjae says with a yawn, leaning into Yugyeom.

“Yugyeom needs a boyfriend though.” Bambam whines.

“Let me live.” Yugyeom whines back. “I’ll find someone someday.” He says, eyes flicking to Youngjae, who just smiles at him.

“You will Yugyeom-ah.” Youngjae says. “You’d be a great boyfriend.” Yugyeom’s stupid heart flutters.

Youngjae is practically falling asleep in his food by the time he’s done.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed.” Yugyeom says, and picks up Youngjae to carry him to his bedroom. Even though Youngjae is older than him, Yugyeom is taller and stronger. Yugyeom doesn’t mind though, he likes that he can manhandle Youngjae a little bit. He likes feeling manly and useful.

He averts his eyes as Youngjae strips off his scrubs, and puts on pajamas. Youngjae is even cuter when he’s in his pajamas, hair drooping onto his forehead. He watches Youngjae climb into bed and pull the covers up to his chin.

“Good night hyung.” Yugyeom says softly.

“Good night Yugyeom-ah.” Youngjae replies sleepily.

Yugyeom turns the lights off, and closes the door quietly behind him. He pauses, leaning against the door for a second, willing the blush on his face to go away.

It’s been like this for the whole time that he’s known Youngjae. From the first time that he saw Youngjae smile, he was a goner. And then they became friends, and Youngjae moved in with him and Bambam, and Yugyeom’s crush only got worse. Youngjae is kind, and cute, and hardworking, and everything that Yugyeom wants.

He can’t tell Youngjae, because he knows Youngjae and he knows that he’s painfully into someone else, a childhood friend of his. Yugyeom just tries to avoid talking about dating with Youngjae, because it hurts too much.

Youngjae and Bambam both have no idea, because Yugyeom is a baby and can’t tell Bambam about it, because Bambam would probably tell Youngjae, and Yugyeom doesn’t want to fuck up their whole friend group dynamic. It’s already bad enough that Mark knows, and he doesn’t even live with them. So Yugyeom is stuck with his stupid crush on Youngjae. Maybe he really does need a boyfriend. Except he just likes Youngjae.

Yugyeom flops down on his own bed in a heap, only for his phone to buzz as soon as he lies down.

**evil hyung**

**Hey can you drop some stuff off at the studio for me tomorrow at lunch?**

**Remember that time...**

**gyeom gyeom**

**ya sure**

**evil hyung**

**I’ll send you the address!**

**:)**

**gyeom gyeom**

**ur blackmailing me, stop smiling**

\--

Yugyeom loves Mark, he really does. But Mark has been using the time that he found out about Yugyeom’s crush on Youngjae to make him do things for him for three months now. It’s incredibly inconvenient, if Yugyeom is being honest. But he knows that Mark actually would tell everyone about Yugyeom’s crush, and then Yugyeom’s life would be over. So here he is, forced to go out of his way before class to Mark’s new studio to drop off some lunch and papers.

He hasn’t been to Mark’s new studio yet, but it’s a fancy production house in Gangnam, close to all the other famous companies. Yugyeom can’t help but feel impressed as he waits in the lobby -- everyone working there seems to wealthy and effortlessly good-looking. There’s a few other people waiting in the lobby too, a girl in a sundress anxiously looking around, and a dark haired guy in a leather jacket leaning against the wall. Yugyeom’s eyes run over them, and then sweep back to the dark haired guy. He looks incredibly familiar, and Yugyeom’s mind flashes to the night before.

It’s definitely the guy from the restaurant — Im Jaebum, his mind unhelpfully prompts. He’s still dressed in all black, giving him a chic kind of air, and in daylight it’s even more evident how ridiculously good looking he is. He’s also staring back at Yugyeom and Yugyeom can’t help but freeze up.

The guy looks him up and down, and Yugyeom feels himself shiver a bit. Im Jaebum is scary, and somehow Yugyeom has managed to run into him twice in two days. He doesn’t know what he did in a past life to deserve this.

He hopes that the guy is just going to ignore him, but his hopes are dashed when Im Jaebum takes a few steps so that he’s within speaking distance to Yugyeom.

“You’re the guy from the restaurant. Yugyeom right?” Im Jaebum asks. Yugyeom contemplates lying for a second. He decides that there isn’t really a point.

“Yeah. Kim Yugyeom.” He says, and Jaebum’s smile grows bigger, like he’s just won something.

“Hello.” Jaebum says. “It’s nice to meet you. Properly.”

“Hello.” Yugyeom says.

“Do you work here?” Jaebum asks, cocking his head and staring at Yugyeom like he’s trying to see right into his soul or something.

“No. I’m just dropping something off for a friend.”

“Oh.” Jaebum says, looking somewhat disappointed, Yugyeom can’t help but notice.

A beautiful woman comes over to stand beside Jaebum, putting her hand on his arm. She looks vaguely familiar, Yugyeom thinks, but he can’t figure out where he’s seen her before.   

“Jaebum-ah! Who’s this?” She asks.

“A friend of a friend.” Jaebum says smoothly, focussing his attention on her. His charm is laid on thick, and Yugyeom watches the woman practically melt.

“Yugyeom!” Mark yells. “Over here!” Yugyeom turns to see Mark running full-tilt towards him. “Thank you so much Yugyeom-ah!” Mark says with a grin. “Oh, Jaebum! I didn’t see you here. And Somi, hey!”

“Hey.” Jaebum says in response.

“Hello.” The girl says to him. “I just got your lyrics!”

“Do you like them?”

“I love them!” She gushes, and Yugyeom feels distinctly out of place.

“Jaebum, you know Yugyeom?” Mark asks, nodding his head towards Yugyeom.

“Just a bit.”

“I have to run hyung.” Yugyeom says to Mark. “I have class.”

“Alright. Thank you again.” Mark says and ruffles Yugyeom’s hair. He can feel Jaebum’s eyes on them, as if he’s trying to figure out how they fit together. It is a bit weird, that he knows a famous songwriter, but he knew Mark way before he was famous, when he was just writing songs for Soundcloud.

Yugyeom makes a hasty escape again, trying to avoid having to talk to Jaebum again.

\--

He manages to calm down enough to make it through his class without yelling at anyone, and then escapes to the library to get some reading done.

Youngjae texts him to say that he’s going to stop by the library while Yugyeom is in between classes.

“Yugyeom-ah!” Youngjae says, waving excitedly at Yugyeom from the room. He looks soft and cute in his scrubs from the clinic, and Yugyeom feels his heart rate speed up just at the sight of him.

“Hey!” Yugyeom says, feeling a smile spread across his face.

“Mind if I sit?” Youngjae

“Of course!” Yugyeom leaps up to move his backpack off the chair across from him, and shift some of his books. “Here, take a seat.”

“Thanks Yugyeom-ah.” Youngjae says gratefully, and settles across from him.

They spend the rest of Youngjae’s break chatting about everything and nothing, and then Youngjae loses track of time and has to dash off to the clinic so he won’t be late. Yugyeom watches him leave, lab coat flapping behind him, and then lets his head slump to the table.

It’s moments like this that make Yugyeom unable to give up on his crush. Moments that give him hope that someday they could be something more than friends. He’s so fucked, Yugyeom thinks miserably.

\--

The next week, Yugyeom gets another ominous text from Mark.

**evil hyung**

**Mind if I borrow your voice for the background of a song?**

**gyeom gyeom**

**will u pay me?**

**evil hyung**

**Um**

**No**

**gyeom gyeom**

**no**

**evil hyung**

**But you have such a nice voice!**

**And i’ll tell yj if you don’t**

**gyeom gyeom**

**tell me where to go**

\--

He’s sung for Mark before, just here and there when the studio needs someone last minute. Yugyeom isn’t an amazing singer, but he isn’t a terrible one either.

But this new studio is professional, not just in someone’s basement or something, so Yugyeom isn’t fully sure why Mark is asking for him specifically. He assumes that a fancy place would have like in-house singers or something.

When he finds his way back to the studio, a stressed looking intern is waiting in the lobby for him.

“Follow me.” She almost growls, and drags him upstairs.

“Yugyeom-ah! Thank you so much!” Mark exclaims once Yugyeom is all but shoved in the door. “I owe you so much! Your voice is going to sound perfect-”  

“Yugyeom.” Someone greets, interrupting Mark, and Yugyeom turns to see Jaebum in the studio too, dressed in his usual black and looking serious. Yugyeom offers a weak smile in response.

Of course Jaebum is somehow here, Yugyeom thinks. He must have killed somebody in a past life to deserve this.

“I’m the producer for this track.”

“Oh.”

“Mark insisted on bringing you in. He says that you have a great voice. So let’s see about that.” Jaebum says blankly and Yugyeom practically wilts. Fuck his life. “Right. So we’ll get you set up in the booth.”

Jaebum shows him how to use all the fancy equipment, and sets up his lyrics. Yugyeom practices a little bit, feeling nervous when Jaebum doesn’t respond at all.

“Ok. Go.” Jaebum says from the control board, and Yugyeom sings.

“We’ll go again?” Jaebum says after Yugyeom finishes.

So Yugyeom sings again.

\--

“Again.” Jaebum says, eyes laser focused on Yugyeom’s. He sings this lines this time, inflecting the part he wants Yugyeom to inflect on. He has a nice voice, Yugyeom can’t but notice.

\--

“Again.”

\--

“Again.”

\--

“Again.”

\--

By the twentieth time he has to sing his lines again, Yugyeom snaps a bit.

“I’m just the back-up vocals.” He says.

“So? I want everything to be perfect.” Jaebum all but growls and Yugyeom winces.

“Look. I’m not even getting paid here. And I’m not doing this for you, I’m doing it for Mark.”

“I’m in charge here though. Mark’s just a writer.” Jaebum says and Yugyeom wants to roll his eyes. Mark isn’t even there anymore, so it’s just Jaebum and Yugyeom stuck together. “So, again?”

Yugyeom sings again.

\--

Finally they get a take that Jaebum is satisfied with, and Yugyeom gets to flee. He swears that he only sings like three lines, and it takes two hours before Jaebum finally says they’re done.

“Good work today.” Jaebum says, face as stoic as ever.

“Thanks.” Yugyeom manages to squeak out.

Mark thanks him generously for coming in, and shoves some food in his arms before he goes.

It’s rush hour by the time he makes his way out of the studio, so the subways and buses will be packed. Yugyeom isn’t looking forward to standing in the packed train on the way to university.

Just as he’s contemplating if he _really_ needs to attend class, a sleek black car pulls up to the curb beside him, and revs its engine. Yugyeom turns to see the passenger seat window rolls down, and Jaebum’s face appears. Of course he drives a car like this -- low, sporty, and expensive-looking. He suits it, Yugyeom thinks. A dangerous-looking man driving a dangerous-looking car.

“Get in.” Jaebum commands, eyes flashing in the shadows of his car.

“No thank you.” Yugyeom says, not unkindly. He doesn’t want Jaebum to run him over or something for turning him down. Jaebum just revs the engine again, louder this time. Yugyeom sighs. He can’t help himself.  “Wow, revving an engine. How impressive.” He says, tone sarcastic.

“It should be. Do you know how much this car costs?” Jaebum asks, glare deadly now. Yugyeom feigns indifference. He wonders if Jaebum could actually kill someone with one look.

“No. And I don’t care.” Yugyeom says.

“The train is going to be busy. I can give you a ride.”

“No thank you.” Yugyeom repeats, more firmly this time. Jaebum revs the engine again. “Can you please drive away now? You’re causing a scene.” He is. People are slowing to watch the two of them, and probably stare at Jaebum’s stupid expensive car.

“If you just got in when I asked you, they wouldn’t be staring.” Jaebum retorts.

“You didn’t ask me. You told me.” Jaebum groans and opens his mouth to say something, but Yugyeom just turns on his heels and walks the way he came so Jaebum can’t keep following him. He doesn’t dare turn back to see what Jaebum is doing, too afraid that action will encourage Jaebum, make him think that Yugyeom cares about what he’s doing. Because he definitely does not.

He just doesn’t understand why Jaebum keeps appearing, and keeps talking to him. He’s a young producer for one of the hottest production companies in Korea, why does he even have time to think about Yugyeom?

Yugyeom doesn’t think about him. Never. Except, who does Jaebum think he is telling him what to do? Showing up in his car like that and bossing him around after being rude to him in the studio? Yugyeom can feel his blood pressure rise just thinking about it.

\--

Yugyeom is at a party staring at Youngjae. His fingers are tight around his cup, and the music echoes around his skull but all he can see is Youngjae. He’s supposed to be having a good time, mingling with Bambam’s friends, but here he is being completely pathetic.

Youngjae is talking excitedly to his crush, and he looks so happy that Yugyeom wants to deflate like a balloon and disappear. He’ll never make Youngjae smile like that, he’ll never be able to wake up next to Youngjae and see his sleepy morning face, he’ll never be able to-

“Hey.” Mark says, nudging his side and interrupting his moping. “Why the sad face?”

“No reason.” Yugyeom says glumly. Mark catches onto his line of sight though.

“Yugyeom-ah.” Mark says softly. “Stop torturing yourself.”

“I’m not.”

“Then what are you doing?” Yugyeom doesn’t know what to say, because it’s pretty clear that he is torturing himself.

“Come on, let’s go get something to eat.” Mark insists, and drags Yugyeom away to the kitchen.

“Having fun?” Bambam asks, emerging out of nowhere.

“Yeah.” Yugyeom lies.

“I bet you wish hot guy was here.” Bambam says, teasing. Yugyeom groans, he thought Bambam had forgotten.

“Hot guy who?” Mark asks.

“Nobody!” Yugyeom says loudly. There’s no way he can tell Mark about Jaebum. No. It’s already bad enough that Mark and Jaebum work together.

“This guy we ran into at a restaurant.” Bambam answers with glee. “He seemed into Yugyeom.”

“He wasn’t.” Yugyeom says, unable to make eye contact with either Mark or Bambam. Because Jaebum definitely is not interested in him like that. Mark’s eyes widen suddenly, and he pulls Yugyeom away from Bambam.

“Gyeom-ah! This could be your chance!” Mark hisses.

“Chance to what?”

“Get over Youngjae! Be happy!”

“I’m not ever going to see that guy again.” He reminds Mark.

“If you do, you should take a chance.” Mark says anyways

“I’ll think about it.” Yugyeom lies.

\--

From that point on, Mark seems to make it his mission to take Yugyeom’s mind off Youngjae. Suddenly Yugyeom is being invited out for movies with all of Mark’s friends, and Mark is dropping by campus on Yugyeom’s lunch breaks.

Yugyeom would be grateful if it wasn’t so tiring.

\--

“Come out tonight!” Mark wheedles.

“I’m busy.” Yugyeom lies.

“With what?” Mark asks, eyes narrowed as if he knows Yugyeom is lying.

“Stuff.” Yugyeom clarifies. “Very important stuff.” Mark huffs.

“Come on, maybe it’ll distract you from Youngjae.”

“I don’t want to be distracted from Youngjae.”

Mark looks at him with sad eyes.

“I don’t want to tell you what to do. But doesn’t it seem shitty that you’ve liked the same guy for years and you can’t even tell him you like him?”

“It is shitty. I know hyung.”

“I just want you to be happy Yugyeom-ah.”

“Thanks Mark-hyung.”

“You know what? Fuck it. If you don’t come out with me, I’ll tell Youngjae.” Yugyeom groans.

“That’s a low blow and you know it.”

“I don’t care. There is going to be tons of hot guys there. We just have to get you looking hot as hell, and it’ll be easy for you to find someone new.”

So Yugyeom finds himself in leather pants and a silky blouse, borrowed from Bambam of course, winding his way through a crowded dancefloor to get himself a drink.

He’s just about at the bar when he catches sight of a familiar face. Jaebum is sitting between two impossibly beautiful girls. He doesn’t wave or smile but he raises an eyebrow at the sight of Yugyeom.

Yugyeom orders his drink, and then there’s someone beside him.

“Fancy seeing you here.” Jaebum says. Up close Yugyeom can see that he’s wearing a bit of eyeliner, making his eyes look even more lethal. He can also smell the liquor on Jaebum’s breath. “I almost didn’t recognize you in those clothes.”

“I look better in leather than you do.” Yugyeom says.

“Excuse you.” Jaebum says with a smirk. “You came here with Mark?”

“Yeah.”

“Jaebum-oppa!” One girl crows. “You’re taking too long!”

“Yeah, Jaebum-oppa.” Yugyeom says sarcastically, emphasizing the word ‘oppa’. Jaebum’s face contorts weirdly. “You should get back to them.”

“I will.” Jaebum says harshly, shoving past him then to get to the bar. Yugyeom feels a weird sense of regret. He doesn’t know how to classify their relationship exactly, but its something akin to co-workers. And he definitely doesn’t know how to classify their interactions.

When he walks back to his booth with his drink, Jaebum is back with the girls, but his eyes are focused intently on Yugyeom, expression unreadable. And Yugyeom can’t help but stare back. One girl is practically in his lap, while the other one is pouring him a drink. Yugyeom knows he’s staring but he can’t tear his eyes off Jaebum, off the girls’ roaming hands.

He isn’t sure exactly why the sight of Jaebum being flirted with makes him feel funny. It’s not as if he doesn’t know that Jaebum is good looking.

Yugyeom has only just found his way back to the table with Mark and some of his friends when a bouncer comes over and asks if they’re Mark and Yugyeom.

“Uh, yes?” Mark answers.

“Someone invited you up to the VIP area.” The bouncer says.

“Huh?”

“Come on.” The bouncer says, looking bored already.

“Let’s go.” Mark replies, looking excited. “I wonder who it is.” Yugyeom has a sinking feeling in his stomach that he knows who it is.

The bouncer leads them upstairs to the VIP lounge. Yugyeom has never been here before, and it’s full of beautiful people. He finds shy suddenly, out of place.

And sure enough, Jaebum comes over and says hello, eyes flashing dark, but otherwise showing no sign that he and Yugyeom had already spoken that evening.

“Jaebum!” Mark yells over the music

“Hey!” Jaebum yells back, clapping a hand on Mark’s back in greeting. Mark heads off to go talk to someone, leaving Yugyeom alone with Jaebum. “Hey.” Jaebum says after a beat.

“Hey.” Yugyeom replies. “You’re the one who invited us up here?” Jaebum nods. Yugyeom feels a sudden surge of braveness. “Why?”

“I just wanted to.”

“What about those girls?”

“I got bored.”

“So what, you want me to entertain you?”

“No. I just want to get to know you.”

“You can start by getting me something to drink.” Yugyeom all but drawls. If Jaebum is going to be an asshole, then Yugyeom might as well get something out of the night.

“Whatever you want. I’m not paying -- he is.” Jaebum says and nudges his head toward an older man, surrounded by people. “My boss.”

“Fine.” He says and orders himself a double drink.

“One for me too.” Jaebum says to the bargirl.

So Yugyeom gets a little drunk, just a little drunk. And Jaebum does too, if the way his eyes get hazy and unfocused is any indicator. They just sit there, drinking. The music changes, clearly the DJ has switched, and the music went from hip-hop to more upbeat RnB.

Yugyeom perks up at the first notes of one of his favourite songs.

“Oh my god.”

“What?”

“I love this song!” Yugyeom says, body standing up almost of its own accord.

“You listen to this kind of stuff?” Jaebum asks, watching Yugyeom curiously.

“Yeah. I love it.” Yugyeom answers, starting to sway to the beat. He raises his hands over his head and is just mostly flailing at this point.

“Nice dancing.” Jaebum says, clearly trying to hide his laughter.

“Like you could do any better.” Yugyeom retorts, and intensifies his flailing.

“Watch me.” Jaebum says, putting his drink down to stand up too. “I’m a great dancer.”

The last thing Yugyeom would have expected when he first saw Jaebum at the club was Jaebum flailing beside him to a Tinashe song. But this is what happens. Jaebum in his all-black outfit, hair done up to look cool, dancing like a limp noodle.

“I’m still better!” Yugyeom yells over the music, moving now to dance more seriously, shaking his hips.

Then Jaebum turns and wiggles his butt at Yugyeom. Yugyeom is pretty sure that he hasn’t laughed this hard in a long time. He body rolls his way over to Jaebum and starts to wave his arms in front of Jaebum and Jaebum waves his arms back so they’re almost slapping each other.

Jaebum is grinning at him crazily, and Yugyeom feels a weird sense of freedom.

The song ends, and Yugyeom collapses back into the booth, Jaebum beside him.

“I’m hot. Want to go get some air?” Jaebum asks, and Yugyeom just nods.

He leads Yugyeom up some stairs and through some doors, and they wind up on the rooftop.

“How do you know about this place?” Yugyeom asks, looking around.

“A friend of mine used to own this club. And they never changed the passcode to the door.”

“Whoa. Impressive.” Yugyeom says. His head already feels clearer.

“I used to be here almost every day, so I needed to escape from all the people.” Yugyeom hums in agreement.

“Why every day?”

“I was a DJ some nights, and then other nights I was just hanging out with my friend.”

“Huh.” Yugyeom says. Jaebum must be a dedicated friend.

“Yeah.” Jaebum says. Yugyeom wanders over to the edge, to look out over the city. It isn’t too cold, and the alcohol in his system is probably helping too. “Sit?” Jaebum asks, gesturing to a worn sofa tucked under a cropping of roof.

“Sure.” Yugyeom says, collapsing next to Jaebum.

“So what brings you out tonight? I don’t think I’ve seen you out with Mark here.”

“Mark-hyung comes here often?” Jaebum shrugs noncommittally. “I wouldn’t have pegged him for a club type.”

“You neither to be honest.” Jaebum says.

“Mark told me it would distract me from the person I like.” Yugyeom says, leaning back against the sofa.

“Hmm. Unrequited love?”

“Yeah.”

“Fuck that.” Jaebum says, stretching out his legs. Yugyeom laughs.

“I know right?”

“What’s she like?” Yugyeom almost snorts. Of course Jaebum assumes that he’s straight.

“Um… Cute? Smiley.”

“Mmm. I pegged you to like the cute type.” Jaebum says.

“Right.”

“But we live together.” Yugyeom says before he can stop himself.

“I thought you lived with two guys.” Jaebum says, and Yugyeom isn’t sure when he told Jaebum that. But maybe he’s drunker than he thought.

“I do.”

“You like guys?” Yugyeom pauses for a moment before answering.

“Yeah. You have a problem with that?” Yugyeom asks defensively. Jaebum is clearly straight, and he's already an asshole about lots of things. 

“No! No. Not at all. But uh, you really like this guy?”

“Yeah. I like him a lot.”

“And you live with him eh?”

“Yeah.”

“That fucking sucks.”

“It does.”

“I know I don’t know him, or even you that well. But don’t you think it would be easier if you told him how you felt?”

“I can’t.”

“But at least then you could move on.” Yugyeom sighs.

“I know. All my friends keep telling me that I need a boyfriend.”

“It’s easier just to be single.” Jaebum says, stretching his arms above his head and putting one arm on the back of the sofa behind Yugyeom. Definitely not putting his arm around Yugyeom, Yugyeom reminds himself. “More fun.”

“Easy for you to say.” Yugyeom snorts into his drink.

“What does that mean?”

“You have people practically throwing themselves at you. You’re all dark and sexy.” Jaebum’s predatory smile makes a return.

“Dark and sexy hmm?” Jaebum asks, leaning in closer to Yugyeom. “I don’t know. You’re plenty attractive, especially in those pants. You know. To other guys.” Jaebum says, and Yugyeom watches his Adam’s apple bob. Yugyeom feels himself leaner into Jaebum too, suspended in some kind of feeling he can’t identify.

“Not to Youngjae though.” Yugyeom replies. “Sadly.”

“You never know. But I’m just saying that you should try to move on.”

“Yeah. I know.” Yugyeom says, sighing heavily. He feels suddenly exhausted. “Shit. I shouldn’t have had so much to drink.” Jaebum snorts at that.

They sit there for a few minutes, listening to the sounds of the city. He gets a text from Mark shortly after, asking if he’s ready to go, and Yugyeom quickly messages back.

“I should head out. Mark’s ready to go.” He says to Jaebum.

“Alright, let’s go.” Jaebum says. They make their way back downstairs, to the hallway where Mark is waiting.  

Yugyeom stumbles, but Jaebum catches him easily, and shifts him closer to Mark.

“Thanks.” Mark says to Jaebum in a weird voice. “He’s just like a noodle when he’s drunk.”

“I’m not.” Yugyeom says, but his limbs are feeling kind of noodle-like.

“Bye.” Jaebum says, staring at Yugyeom.

“Bye.” Yugyeom says back, and Mark is hauling him in a cab.

\--

Mark and Yugyeom are in the cab on the way home, when Mark speaks to him.

“I didn’t know you knew Jaebum that well.”

“I don’t.”

“He’s… an interesting person.”

“He’s a jerk.” Yugyeom slurs.

“He’s not that bad.” Mark says. “He’s just... intense.” Yugyeom snorts.

“That’s one way of putting it.”

“I didn’t expect you two to get along so well.” Mark muses.

“Me neither.” Yugyeom responds. “I didn’t think he liked me very much until tonight.”

“What were you guys even doing?”

“Oh. We went up to the rooftop and just talked.”

“About?”

“Stuff.” Yugyeom answers. “I told him about Youngjae for some reason.”

“You told him about Youngjae? Why?”

“I don’t know. I’m drunk.” Yugyeom replies. “What does he care?”

“Jaebum is just… I’ve heard him say a few things about being gay. I just want you to be careful.”

“He seemed okay.” Yugyeom adds. Mark sighs.

“That’s exactly the problem.”

\--

Yugyeom doesn’t see Jaebum for another six weeks. He’s busy, between class, and trying new restaurants with Bambam, and crushing on Youngjae, and TAing, and he doesn’t think about Jaebum.

\--

But then Yugyeom’s phone rings one day while he’s in his tiny graduate student office at university. He ducks out quickly, bowing apologetically to the others for disrupting them.

“Hello?” He hisses into the phone.

“Hey. Uh it’s me. Jaebum.”

“I know who it is.” Yugyeom says.

“Right.”

“How did you get my phone number?”

“Oh. I asked Mark.” Yugyeom just hums. “I was wondering if you could come in and do some recording?”

“For a song?”

“Yeah.”

“Can’t your studio afford back-up vocalists?” Yugyeom finds himself asking. Jaebum laughs.

“Yes. We can pay you if you want.”

“What? Mark said I wouldn’t be paid.”

“He was lying.” Jaebum says.

“So you’ll pay me then?”

“Yes.” Yugyeom thinks about it for a moment. He’ll have to deal with Jaebum’s perfectionism-bordering-on-assholeishness, but he’ll get paid. As a grad student, he can never complain about a paycheque.

“Fine. But you can’t yell at me too much.” He concedes. Jaebum laughs again.

“I’ll text you with the details when I have a studio booked.”

\--

Jaebum texts him the next Tuesday, asking him to come in on Thursday afternoon. Yugyeom is a bit nervous to go back and sing for Jaebum, but he’s being paid at least, so he can keep that in his mind.

This time Jaebum comes and fetches Yugyeom from the lobby himself.

“Hey.” He says coolly.

“Hey.” Yugyeom says in response, voice cracking.

“You can relax. It’s just me.” Jaebum says. That’s exactly what Yugyeom was fearing.

“I’m relaxed.” He says instead.

Jaebum shows him to a different studio than the one they were in before. This one is bigger and brighter, with more intense sound equipment.

“Whoa.” Yugyeom says, looking around. He’s never been in a studio this fancy before. “What’s all this for?”

“Oh. I’m putting together a demo album for a company and I want you to be the lead vocal.” Yugyeom’s jaw drops.

“Me?”

“Yes.”

“Uh.”

“Do you have a problem?”

“No! No. I just thought I was here to be background vocals on a B-side or something.”

“I was impressed with your vocals last time, so I thought you’d be a good fit.” Yugyeom is pretty sure that his brain is short circuiting at this point.

“Thank you. I mean, uh. Wow. Um.” Yugyeom says and winces at his own awkwardness.

“Shall we get started then?” Jaebum asks, ignoring Yugyeom’s weirdness.

An hour passes quickly, with Yugyeom running over the songs a few times, and then recording a few sections. Jaebum is exacting and demanding, and Yugyeom has to remind himself more than once that he’s being paid so he doesn’t yell at Jaebum.

“I just like things to be perfect.” Jaebum says when Yugyeom asks.

“It’s a demo. That’s the point of it - that it isn’t perfect.” Yugyeom snaps back.

“One more time.” Jaebum says in response, putting his headphones on.

\--

“Does this time work for you each week?” Jaebum asks when they’re packing up.

“Hmm?”

“Does this time work for you, or do you have class or something?” Jaebum clarifies.

“No, uh, this time works for me. I just have to leave by four in order to make it to university on time.”

“Ok. Good.” Jaebum says, flashing an uncharacteristic smile, rather than a smirk, at Yugyeom. “So I’ll see you next week?”

“Sounds good.” Yugyeom says, even though it kind of doesn’t sound very good at all.

\--

A few weeks pass. They finish recording one and a half songs, just barely. Yugyeom wants to throttle Jaebum most of the time, but they do kind of make a good team if he isn’t lying to himself. Jaebum stretches his abilities and pushes him to limits of his singing. It had always been a casual thing up to this point, but now he does things like actively try and take care of his throat because Jaebum will yell at him more if his throat is in a bad condition.

Yugyeom still gets nervous when he has to go into the studio, but it doesn’t seem as bad as it was the first few times. Or maybe he’s just getting used to Jaebum.

But then Mark corners him one day at school though, practically going out of his way to hunt him down.

“Mark-hyung?” Yugyeom asks when one of his co-workers says there’s someone lurking in the hallway for him.

“Mmm.” Mark says in response, looking surprisingly menacing.

“Uh, what are you doing here? I don’t think we had plans to meet.”

“We don’t.”

“Okay.”

“Jaebum told me you’re working with him on a demo album?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“You didn’t tell me about it.”

“It’s not a big deal.”

“Well you see him every week at my work, so I just figured you’d tell me.” So Mark is mad then, that Yugyeom didn’t tell him. “Instead Jaebum told me.”

“Ah.”

“I thought you two didn’t get along.”

“We don’t. Kind of. But he asked. And I’m getting paid.” He glares at Mark with his last sentence.

“Okay. Okay. I get it.” Mark says. “I just- you didn’t tell me. And you’re hanging out with Jaebum suddenly and-”

“Hyung. It’s okay. I promise. He’s not being mean to me or anything. Well- not really. He asked me to help out so I agreed. It’s not anything deeper than that.” Mark narrows his eyes.

“It better not be.”

“Yeah, what am I going to do? Fall in love with him? Right.” Yugyeom says, rolling his eyes dramatically. He can’t help but want to laugh. Mark might not know it, but on one hand he’s telling Yugyeom to like Jaebum, albeit he doesn’t know it’s Jaebum, and on the other hand he’s telling Yugyeom to stay away.

\--

“What have you even been doing lately?” Bambam asks. “I feel like you’re never home.”

“Uh, well, just school. And I’ve been going to the studio. It turns out that the guy I met at the restaurant works with Mark hyung, and he asked me to help-”

“You’re working with hot guy?” Bambam asks, eyes bugging out of his head. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Your reaction is probably why.” Youngjae says with a laugh.

“It’s not like that. I’m just helping him out. And he’s really not that hot.” Yugyeom says, but the last part is a lie. Jaebum is really hot, in that intense, asshole kind of way.

“Helping him out?” Bambam asks, waggling his eyebrows. Yugyeom just rolls his eyes.

“I’m singing for a demo. And he’s paying me, unlike Mark-hyung.”

“Ooh, so just the two of you in the studio? Singing about love? Who knows what could happen!”

“Literally nothing.” Yugyeom says. “We work together. That’s it.” He says, trying to look away from Youngjae. He can’t help but remember Mark telling him to take a chance on Jaebum. As if.

“Alright. Keep us posted though.” Bambam says.

“He doesn’t like this guy.” Youngjae chimes in. “Leave Yugyeom-ah alone.”

“Yeah Bambam.” Yugyeom says, pouting and leaning into Youngjae.

“Our Yugyeom-ah is too good for him.” Youngjae says, and Yugyeom’s heart clenches.

\--

The weeks seem to go past even faster, with Yugyeom falling into a pattern of work-school-sleep-sing.

Mark seems to accept that Yugyeom is working with Jaebum, and even seems satisfied when Yugyeom is too busy to hang out.

And in a weird way, Yugyeom is so distracted that he doesn’t spend much time with Youngjae. It seems like the two of them see each other only in passing -- going in or out the door, or walking past each other on campus. This situation makes dealing with his crush easier, because Youngjae isn’t always _there_ , distracting Yugyeom. He isn’t in the kitchen in his pajamas studying, or bringing Yugyeom a coffee between classes, because Yugyeom is so busy.

He can see Youngjae’s face fall when Yugyeom has to run out the door to meet Jaebum, or go to class. But there’s nothing he can do really.

“Yugyeom-ah, you’ve been so busy lately!” Youngjae says one night while they’re eating dinner.

“I know.” Yugyeom says.

“We need a night for just the two of us. I feel like I haven’t seen you in so long!”

“Deal. Um, how about this Saturday?”

“I’m free!” Youngjae exclaims, flashing one of his signature grins. Yugyeom can feel himself melting back into his crush.

“I can’t wait hyung!” He hears himself say, heartbeat thudding in his ears.

“We can get dinner, and watch a movie, and -” Yugyeom tunes him out, disappointed by his inability to say no to Youngjae. He just can’t. Not when Youngjae is there, and looking that cute.

—

Saturday comes quickly. Too quickly, Yugyeom thinks, and he’s being forced out to dinner with Youngjae and then they come home to watch a movie. Youngjae is setting up the TV so they can watch a movie, and Bambam is out at some new buzzed-about restaurant. So Yugyeom is trapped alone with Youngjae. It could be a date, and Yugyeom wants it to be a date, but Youngjae doesn’t think it’s a date. Yugyeom internally groans. His phone buzzes.

**Im Jaebum**

**Hey, I know this is last minute, but is there any way you can come to the studio tonight for one last recording session?**

**The company pushed up the deadline.**

**I’ll pay you extra for your time.**

 

“Ah shit.”

“What is it?” Youngjae asks.

“I think I have to cancel on the rest of the night hyung. I have to go to the studio.”

“It’s nine at night though.” Youngjae says, looking at him funny.

“I know. Sorry Youngjae-ah, this is the last opportunity we have to finish up. Another time though, for sure!” Yugyeom says.

“Do you have to go?” Youngjae asks, almost pouting. If Yugyeom were weaker he wouldn't be able to resist. 

“I am being paid. So probably, yeah.”

“Yugyeom-ah! This was supposed to be the night we hung out!”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you though, I promise!” Yugyeom says. Youngjae just sighs.

**Kim Yugyeom**

**ok**

**ill meet u there**

\--

Jaebum looks unusually frazzled when Yugyeom gets to the studio.

“Sorry to make you come in on a Saturday night.” He says, and he actually looks apologetic.

“It’s fine.” Yugyeom says. “Don’t worry about it.” He isn’t sure if he means that or not.

They get to work straight away, just re-recording a few lines here and there from the different songs.

After what feels like an eternity, Yugyeom begs off to take a break and go to the bathroom, tired from Jaebum’s demands.

When he comes back, someone is singing. Yugyeom’s mind flashes to the first studio session with Jaebum how he sang. Because it’s _Jaebum_ singing. He has a lovely voice, Yugyeom realizes, that somehow soars through the notes. It’s nothing like before when he just kind of hummed the tune, this is Jaebum belting it out.

Yugyeom hovers outside the room for a few more seconds until Jaebum finishes, eager to hear more, and unsure if Jaebum would even want him to hear.

He heads back in tentatively, showing no sign that he’d heard Jaebum singing.

“Ready to finish up?” Jaebum asks.

“Yeah. Let’s do it.”

Somehow Yugyeom loses track of time. He and Jaebum have never been more productive, and he doesn’t even realize how late it is until he looks down at his phone only to see that it’s past midnight at this point. He and Jaebum have been in the studio for hours.

“Whew. All done.” Jaebum says. “I think we’ve got it.”

“Uh, it’s almost one in the morning.”

“What?” Jaebum asks, and then checks his own phone. “Shit! I didn’t mean to keep you so late.”

“It’s fine. But we’re good now? I can head out?”

“Yeah. Here, I’ll drive you.” Yugyeom grits his teeth. He isn’t sure why Jaebum is so fixated on driving him home.

“I’m fine, I can take the train. I have a pass.”

“Let me fucking drive you home Yugyeom. Who knows what could happen on the train at this hour.” Yugyeom practically sees red.

“What the fuck? You don’t have to be so weird about it. I’m fine. I’m a grown-up.”

“Barely. You look like a kid.” Jaebum scoffs.

“So what, I need protecting? You don’t think I can take care of myself?” Yugyeom asks, allowing himself to raise his voice.

“That’s not what I meant.” Jaebum says.

“It’s what it sounds like. Asshole.” Yugyeom says, disappointment evident in his voice and turns to leave. There seems to be a pattern to their interactions, and he’s growing tired of it. He doesn’t get more than two steps away though, before there’s a hand on his wrist, pulling him back.

Jaebum practically reels him in. Yugyeom is taller, so technically it’s Jaebum looking up at him, but the way he’s looking at Yugyeom makes him feel small. Jaebum has him pulled almost right to his chest.

“What do you want?” Yugyeom spits out.

“Will you walk with me then?” Jaebum asks, eyes looking at Yugyeom so intensely, he feels like he might actually fall over.

“What?”

“If I can’t give you a ride home, then can I walk you home?” Jaebum asks, and they’re so close that Yugyeom swears that he can feel Jaebum’s heart beating. “I asked you to come so late. I don’t want something to happen to you because of me.”

“I have to take the subway to get home.” Yugyeom blurts out. “It’s kind of far.”

“Then can I take you home on the subway? Please?” Jaebum asks, voice uncharacteristically soft. “It’s late.”

“I can get home just fine.” Yugyeom assures him, experimentally tugging his arm out of Jaebum’s hand, but Jaebum just pulls him closer.

“Please.” Jaebum asks again. Yugyeom should say no. He really should.

“Yeah. Whatever.”

Jaebum releases Yugyeom’s wrist, seeming almost reluctant.

They close up, and head out, walking in silence to the subway station, side by side, despite the empty streets. Occasionally, Jaebum’s arm will brush against Yugyeom’s. It isn’t unwelcome, Yugyeom realizes. Jaebum is warm and steady beside him.

It’s sort of strange to see Jaebum in a normal situation, like taking the subway. He doesn’t look uncomfortable, but he looks somewhat out of place. He looks like he belongs in a world of fast cars, flashy watches, and. Not the bright-white world of the subway, and the last of the people trickling home at the end of the night.

It’s quiet on the train, most people having long gone home. Yugyeom stares at their reflections in the window of the traincar. Jaebum is looking down at his hands. His profile really is handsome, Yugyeom thinks. It’s not fair for someone to be that handsome.

Jaebum must sense Yugyeom looking at him, because he looks up to the window, and looks at Yugyeom in the reflection. It’s oddly intimate. The rest of the train ride is spent in silence, looking at each other’s reflection, and then looking down again, trying not to get caught staring.

Yugyeom really isn’t sure what to make of it.

He leads them off the subway at his stop, and directs them to the building where his apartment is.

“This is me.” He says, sweeping his arms in front of the building. “Thanks for walking me, even though you really didn’t have to. Like at all.” He shoots Jaebum a glare.

“Thank you. For letting me.” Jaebum says, ignoring Yugyeom’s glare.

“Alright. Well. I should head up.”

“Yeah.”

Yugyeom takes that as his cue to leave, and walks in. Just before he opens the door to go inside, he allows himself to look back. Jaebum is staring at him, hands in his pockets. Yugyeom waves at him meekly, and he swears that the corners of Jaebum’s mouth turn up a bit. So he can smile sometimes, Yugyeom thinks to himself as he makes his way up to his apartment. He isn’t a totally unfeeling robot.

“Hey.” Youngjae says from the sofa when Yugyeom gets inside the apartment.

“Hey.” Yugyeom responds, walking past him on the way to his bedroom. "You're up late."

“Yugyeom-ah?”

“Yes?”

“Who was that?” Youngjae asks, curiosity evident in his voice.

“Hmm?”

“Who was that just now who dropped you off?” Yugyeom pauses for a second, unsure how exactly to classify Jaebum.

“Just… Someone. A friend I guess.”

“Anyone I know?”

“I don’t think so. I met him at university.” He lies.

“Oh. Okay. You should invite them over sometime.” Youngjae says. “I want to meet him.”

“I’ll see. He’s pretty busy.” Yugyeom says with a fake smile.

He’s in his room when he realizes that Youngjae must have been watching at their window to see Jaebum. Youngjae must’ve been bored, Yugyeom figures, because he had to cancel their night together. He briefly feels a pang of guilt, but then again he’s trying to get over Youngjae, so maybe it’s a good thing that they don’t spend as much time together. Maybe Jaebum was right, and he needs to work harder to get over Youngjae.

Just as he’s about to go to bed, his phone buzzes, and Yugyeom looks to see a text from Jaebum.

**Im Jaebum**

**Hey, I just wanted to say thank you again for helping me with the demo.**

**I really appreciate the help.**

**Kim Yugyeom**

**no worries!**

 

He doesn’t respond beyond that, unsure what to even say. Their commitment to each other is over now that the demo is done. He won’t have to see Jaebum again. Thank god, Yugyeom thinks.

\--

Despite his relief to be done, the first two Thursdays after Yugyeom finishes up in the studio, he feels a bit off. It’s just his routine being broken, he tells himself, nothing more than that. It’s just a pattern he was in, it has nothing to do with Jaebum. Nothing. 

But Yugyeom can’t help but wonder if the album is done, if Jaebum has submitted it, and what the studio thought of it. He was part of it, he was the main vocal, which honestly Yugyeom still isn’t over. He’s never thought of himself as being a particularly good singer, but Jaebum seems to put more faith in him than he’d put in himself.

It felt kind of good honestly, to be more than just a grad student, even if just for an hour or so every week.

\--

“You seem kind of sad lately. Is something up?” Youngjae says one day while they’re in the library studying.

“I’m not! I’m totally fine.” Yugyeom replies quickly.

“You just don’t seem yourself.”

“I’m just busy.” Yugyeom says. And it’s true. He is busy.

“You’ll feel better soon then Yugyeom-ah!” Youngjae exclaims, and flashes him a smile.

“Of course I will.” Yugyeom says, smiling back at Youngjae. If his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes, Youngjae doesn’t notice.

\--

One day after that, Yugyeom gets out of his night class to find Mark waiting for him.

“Mark-hyung?”

“Hey. I’ll give you a ride home.” Mark greets, and walks off leaving Yugyeom to follow him.

“Thanks hyung.”

“No problem Yugyeom-ah.” Mark says with a small smile.

It’s only once they’re in Mark’s car that Yugyeom realizes that he’s somewhat cornered.

“So you’re all done now with recording?” Mark asks nonchalantly as he starts the engine.

“Yeah.”

“Good. That’s good.” Mark responds.

The car is silent for a moment before Yugyeom decides to go for it.

“Hyung, why don’t you like Jaebum?”

“I don’t- uh… I don’t not like him.”

“It seems like you do.”

“I’m just worried about you. I’ve seen him be weird about gay people, and I want to make sure he didn’t say anything to you.”

“He never did. He’s actually been pretty supportive.” Mark almost chokes on a cough.

“What? Jaebum?”

“Yeah. I told you he wasn’t that bad.”

“But, supportive?” Yugyeom hums. “Weird. Very weird.”

“No offense, but you’re kind of being the weird one here.”

“What? Why?”

“You’re kind of fixated on me being friendly with Jaebum.”

“I’m not!” Mark exclaims, but then falls silent. “Wait-”

“It's fine. You’re just funny.”

“I’ll show you funny!” Mark says, and lifts one hand off the wheel to punch Yugyeom lightly. “Hey - did you ever see that guy again? The one Bambam was talking about?” Yugyeom tamps down a laugh.

“Uh, no. I guess we just met the once.” He lies. Mark nods.

“Well, there are plenty of other guys out there. I’m sure one of these days you’ll meet a nice one who likes you for you.”

“Hyung, I’m really fine. I don’t need to date.”

“But you shouldn’t be hung up on someone who doesn’t like you back.”

“I know. That’s what Jaebum says too.” Mark’s face tightens.

“Yugyeom-ah-”

“Can you just drop it hyung? Please?” Mark just sighs.

“Fine.” And then, “Do you want take-out?”

\--

Yugyeom has only just gotten home when his phone rings. Yugyeom looks down to see that it’s Jaebum calling. He hesitates, but picks up anyways.

“Hello?”

“Hey! Yugyeom. Um hello.”

“Hey.” Yugyeom replies lamely. “What’s up?”

“Um, I just wanted to know if you wanted to listen to the final version before I submit it to the company?” Yugyeom pauses for a moment to think about it. He doesn’t need to. Technically his obligation to Jaebum is non-existent. He’s not being paid, and he isn’t even fully sure if he likes Jaebum or not. But all the same.

“Uh-”

“You don’t have to, of course. You’re busy with school. I just thought I’d ask, but it’s no big deal.” If Yugyeom isn’t mistaken, there’s a distinct note of disappointment in Jaebum’s voice. He clears his throat.

“I’ll see if I can make some time.” He says.

“Okay. Text me, or call me, just let me know what works for you.” Jaebum says, clearly trying not to sound too happy.

Yugyeom hangs up and stares at his phone in disbelief. Jaebum genuinely gives him whiplash. He’ll be yelling at him one second, then asking to drive him home the next, and then asking him if he wants to listen to their finished album after. Jaebum makes no fucking sense.  

\--

Yugyeom ends up having a class cancelled the next week, because the professor is away at a conference. He could use the time to study, or hang out with Youngjae and Bambam. That’s probably what he should do.

**Kim Yugyeom**

**hey**

**i’m free next week on Wednesday at 2?**

Jaebum messages him back immediately.

**Im Jaebum**

**Perfect!**

**I’ll see you then!**  

\--

“What are you up to today?” Bambam asks Wednesday morning over breakfast. “Wanna go see a movie or something because you don’t have class?”

“I have to head into the studio.”

“I thought you were all done?”

“I am. Jaebum invited me to listen to the album though.”

“And you’re going to go?”

“Yeah.” Bambam hums.

“He seems to want to spend a lot of time with you.” Bambam says, voice light.

“Yeah, because we work together.”

“Do you like him?”

“What? Jaebum?”

“Yeah.”

“Uh, no. Like not at all.” Yugyeom says, eyes widening in horror. “Why?”

“I was just wondering. Because he seems to want to spend a lot of time with you, and you seem to want to agree.”

“It’s not-”

“Okay. I get it.” Bambam adds. “I guess I misread the situation.”

“Yeah.” Yugyeom says, but his cheeks are turning red for some reason. Jaebum? Him? As if. 

\-- 

Jaebum meets him in the lobby of the company in the afternoon, face as stoic as ever. He’s wearing all-black of course. He waves slightly at Yugyeom though, a reminder of the time that he walked Yugyeom home.

“Hey. I wasn’t sure if you’d have time to come in.” Jaebum says when Yugyeom is close enough.

“I had a class cancelled.”

“Oh. Well, I’m glad you could make it.”

Jaebum directs him upstairs, away from the main studios. Yugyeom has never been to this part of the building before.

“Where are we going?”

“My studio.” Jaebum says, and unlocks a door. 

“Yours?”

“Yeah, I just thought I’d show you here rather than in the lobby or something.” Jaebum explains, sounding oddly sheepish.

Yugyeom allows himself to look around. Despite all the times he’s been to the studio, he hasn’t been inside Jaebum’s personal studio, where he works. Jaebum’s scene seems to be unabashedly his. There’s a huge bookshelf filled with books on all kinds of subjects, another huge shelf full of records, and a cozy looking couch.

“It’s so… you.” Yugyeom says.

“Is it?”

“Yeah. It’s like being inside your mind. Well, how I imagine your mind.”

“If this is my mind, how come you’re in here?” Jaebum whispers, so quietly that Yugyeom figures it isn’t meant for him to hear. He doesn’t say anything, but this could also be because of the lump that has come up in his throat.

“Why don’t you sing?” Yugyeom asks, just to change the topic.

“What?”

“I’ve heard you sing a few times now. You’re good enough.”

“Me?” Jaebum asks with a laugh.

“Yeah.”

“I’m not that good of a singer. Besides, I just like being behind the scenes.” Jaebum says with a shrug.

“You could though. If you wanted. You’re good looking, a good singer. You could be famous.” Jaebum snorts.

“Yeah? What about you? You’re more of the idol type than I am. Girls would go crazy for you.” Jaebum says, before adding, “Boys too.” Yugyeom rolls his eyes.

“Right. Well, in case chemical engineering fails for me, I have a backup plan.” He says sarcastically.

“I have some contacts.” Jaebum says, in a joking voice. “Just let me know.”

“I’ll do it only if you do.” Yugyeom teases.

“Here.” Jaebum says, thrusting a pair of headphones into Yugyeom’s hands. “Let me know what you think.”

Yugyeom puts the headphones on, and Jaebum starts to play the demo. It isn’t quite what he’d imagined it would sound like -- the sound is much more RnB, more sensual. Yugyeom can’t deny it, his voice sounds good. He sounds like a real singer, not just someone who sings sometimes as a favour. He taps his fingers along to the beat. When he looks over, Jaebum is looking at him closely, as if scrutinizing his reaction.

“It’s uh, it’s good.” He says, pulling his headphones off. “You did a good job. It sounds great. I bet the company is going to love it.”

“You did a good job too.”

“Me? No. It’s all the producing.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you.” Jaebum responds. “You had the perfect voice for the project.” Yugyeom blushes. He’s never heard Jaebum voice that aloud. Mostly he just yelled at Yugyeom, or told him to sing again.

“Thank you.” He mumbles.

“No problem.” And then, “You should be more confident about your singing.”

“It’s not my job or anything. I’m not not confident about it though.” Yugyeom says. “Thank you. And thanks for showing me the demo. I think it’ll go over well.”

“I hope so.” Jaebum says, and they stand there, staring at each other for a moment.

“Alright, I’m going to head out then?”

“Yeah! Um, sure.”

“Okay.” Yugyeom says slowly, unsure what else to say. “I’m-”

“Hey! Um. Do you want to come to a launch party that the studio is throwing?” Jaebum asks quickly, interrupting Yugyeom. Yugyeom falters.

“Party?”

“Yeah.”

“I could.” Yugyeom says.

“Okay. I’ll text you the details?”

“Yeah. Sure.”

“It’ll be fun. I promise.”

“Are we, um, friends now?” Jaebum blinks at him, clearly not expecting that question. “Never mind.”

“Yeah. I think we’re friends now.” Jaebum answers slowlyy

“Okay. Is that okay?”

“Of course.” Jaebum responds with a small smile.

“I’ll be at the party then.” Yugyeom says. “But I really have to go now.”

“Oh, right! I don’t want to keep you.”

“I’ll text you!” Jaebum calls out as Yugyeom closes the door, and it feels more like a hello than a goodbye.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)

The idea of being friends with Jaebum isn’t one that Yugyeom had given much thought to. He does know Jaebum better now than he did initially, but as a whole Jaebum is kind of a mystery. Yugyeom realizes that he really doesn’t know much about Jaebum other than he produces music, and likes to look dark and brooding at any given opportunity.

He can’t ask Mark for more information, because Mark is still inexplicably weird about Jaebum. Bambam would just tease him if Yugyeom asked, and end up doing something embarrassing. And getting Youngjae to help him find out more about Jaebum would just be uncomfortable.

So that leaves Yugyeom on his own to find out more about Jaebum. He begins with social media, adding Jaebum and stalking through his SNS for any information. Jaebum’s social media is depressingly bare though, with hardly any good info. He finds out that Jaebum didn’t graduate from university, but that he went for a few years for psychology or something, and that he has a best friend named Jinyoung with an Apeach avatar who comments embarrassing things on all Jaebum’s posts. It reminds Yugyeom of him and Bambam, if he’s being honest.

Just as Yugyeom is browsing the depths of Jaebum’s posts from 2009, a message from Jaebum himself pops up.

**im jaebum**

**Hey**

**Are we still on for the party?**

**gyeom gyeom**

**yeah!**

**im jaebum**

**Cool.**

**(Link attached).**

**I can pick you up if you want.**

**gyeom gyeom**

**sure**

**i don’t even know how to get there haha**

Yugyeom breathes a sigh of relief at the conversatio being over, but then Jaebum messages him again.

**im jaebum**

**Your username is cute.**

**Is it a nickname?**

**gyeom gyeom**

**an annoying one that unfortunately stuck**

**i love my friends**

**im jaebum**

**hahahaha**

And Yugyeom really doesn’t know what to make of that conversation.

 

\--

It seems like Jaebum takes Yugyeom adding him on SNS as an open invitation to message him regularly.

It’s not as weird as Yugyeom might have thought. Yugyeom finally gets a glimpse of Jaebum behind his serious exterior, and it turns out that he’s not quite what Yugyeom would have expected.

Jaebum is funny without really meaning to be, and kind of silly sometimes. He just doesn’t show it much. He’ll send song links or funny memes to Yugyeom, and if Yugyeom had been skeptical about being friends with Jaebum, he isn’t any more.

They fall into an easy pattern of messaging each other about their days, just tidbits here and there. It’s easier than Yugyeom might have thought, surprisingly so. He really isn’t sure what to make of it.

\-- 

**im jaebum**

**i’m outside**

**take your time or whatever. i’m early**

**gyeom gyeom**

**be down in a second**

He looks at himself one last time in the mirror, takes a deep breath and heads out the door.

When he gets outside, Jaebum’s car is idling by the curb. Yugyeom sighs, and opens the door to climb in.

Jaebum’s car is nicer on the inside, all sleek black leather and polished trim. Yugyeom doesn’t feel like he belongs in it.

“Hey. You look good.” Jaebum says, and coughs slightly. Yugyeom isn’t dressed up, but he isn’t not dressed up either. He’s just trying to fit in with the type of people that Jaebum seems to associate with. So maybe he put more effort into his outfit than usual, wearing tight jeans, and a black silky shirt. And maybe actually got Bambam to style his hair.  

Yugyeom can’t ignore the way that Jaebum’s eyes pass slowly over his body. It’s strange. He’s pretty sure that he looks the same as he usually does, just in slightly different clothes.

Jaebum looks good though, he’s done up like he was in the club, and the look suits him. A hint of eyeliner brings out his eyes, and the usual black clothes look better in the dim lighting.

“Oh, hey.” Yugyeom says, realizing that he forgot to say hello back. Jaebum laughs softly.

“Ready to go?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be, I guess.” Jaebum rolls his eyes.

“It’s a party. It’ll be fun. Oh, another friend of mine is going to be there as well.”

“Okay.”

“Yeah, his name is Jinyoung. Warning, he’s super nerdy. And kind of mean. But he’s really not that bad, I promise.”

“Okay?” Yugyeom replies. Jaebum isn’t exactly giving his friend a glowing review.

“He’s an architect so if worst comes to worst just ask him about his work and he won’t shut up.”

“Right. Okay. Ask him about his work.” Yugyeom repeats, mostly for his own sake.

The party is at a swishy bar downtown that Yugyeom has never been to. It’s full of people with bright hair and leather jackets. Maybe he kind of does blend in, even just a little bit. He hopes.

“You look fine.” Jaebum says quietly as they walk in, seemingly reading his mind. “Stop worrying.”

“How did you know?”

“You look worried. It was a lucky guess. Oh, here comes Jinyoung.” He says, and points to an impossibly handsome guy striding towards them.

“Hyung!” The guy crows.

“Jinyoung-ah.” Jaebum says in response, and they smile at each other, before the man focuses on Yugyeom. Yugyeom feels like he’s under a microscope. “I’ll be right back, someone just waved at me.” He adds, and Yugyeom wants to yell to take him with Jaebum, because he doesn’t want to be stuck here alone.

“Okay.” He says instead.

“Ah, so this is Yugyeom.” The handsome guy says once Jaebum is out of earshot, tilting his head knowingly to the side.

“Hello.” Yugyeom says nervously.

“I’m Park Jinyoung.” The handsome guy greets, eyes twinkling, and Yugyeom isn’t sure why. He’s also strikingly good looking, and Yugyeom is a little starstruck to have that directed towards him. Where Jaebum is all hard lines and dark features, Jinyoung is soft, and incredibly _pretty_.

“Oh!” Yugyeom says, eyes widening in realization. So this is Jaebum’s best friend. He doesn’t look anything like what Yugyeom had imagined. For starters, he doesn’t look nerdy at all. He looks like an actor, or an idol or something. “I’m Kim Yugyeom.”

“I know who you are.” Jinyoung says. He sounds amused, but he looks serious. Yugyeom clears his throat.

“Uh, enjoying the party?”

“Yeah. I don’t normally come out, but Jaebum wanted me to meet someone.”

“Oh. Cool.” Yugyeom says. It must be one of the many other good looking people at the party.

“What about you? I was surprised when Jaebum-hyung told me he invited you.”

“It’s fun. It’s different, but it’s fun.”

“Mhmm. Anyone here caught your eye?" 

“Uh. I don’t really know.”

“You don’t know?”

“I’ve just been talking to Jaebum mostly.” This statement makes a grin spread across Jinyoung’s face.

“Have you?”

“And now you. And I don’t think you’re my type.” Yugyeom says, only for Jinyoung to burst out in laughter.

“Ah, I think we’re going to get along just fine.” Jinyoung says with a grin. “Let me get you a drink.”

Jinyoung steers them over to the bar, and ends up grilling Yugyeom about his life -- what he’s studying, where he lives, what kind of music he likes. Yugyeom gets the distinct feeling that he’s being vetted, and he isn’t totally sure what for.

“So Jaebum-hyung told me you’re an architect?” Yugyeom asks during a lull in the conversation. Jinyoung raises a perfect eyebrow.

“He talks about me?”

“Sometimes.”

“Funny, because he talks about you-“

“Don’t listen to him.” Jaebum says, coming up beside Yugyeom, his shoulder brushing Yugyeom’s arm. He’s warm beside Yugyeom. Jinyoung actually laughs now, hand flying up to cover his mouth.

“Yes. I’m an architect.” Jinyoung replies with a laugh.

“That’s cool. What are you working on right now?” Yugyeom asks, and watches Jinyoung’s face light up as he launches into great detail about the projects he’s working on. Beside him, Jaebum snorts, but lets Yugyeom ask Jinyoung about his work anyways.

\--

“So, you talk about me?” Yugyeom asks once Jinyoung has gone off to find something to eat. Jaebum quirks an eyebrow.

“Nah. Well only a little bit. I was looking for the right singer for ages for the demo.” Yugyeom hums. “So I told Jinyoung about you.” He doesn’t know why, but hearing Jaebum admit this sends a flash of heat to his chest.

“Mhmm.”

“Do you tell your friends about me?” Jaebum asks.

“Well Mark already knows you.” Yugyeom starts off by saying. “Um, and Bambam met you once. At the restaurant that first time. But I tell him and Youngjae about you sometimes.” This answer seems to strangely please Jaebum.

“Cool.”

“What about your other friends?” Yugyeom finds himself asking. “I met Jinyoung, but what about your other friends?”

“I just have a few friends.” Jaebum explains, chewing on his lip. “Jinyoung, and Jackson, he’s the one who used to own the club.” Yugyeom nods. “But I’m not a big people person.” Yugyeom snorts.

“Yeah. I’d say so.” Jaebum narrows his eyes at Yugyeom’s insult. “Just a bit.”

“Hey.”

They mingle more, chatting with Jinyoung again, and Jaebum introduces Yugyeom to a few more people in the industry. It’s weird, but Jaebum keeps praising him, and telling people that he’s an up and coming singer. It feels good though, to be praised like that.

Jaebum seems to sense that Yugyeom’s party tolerance is waning, so he tugs them out of the party without a word.

“Tired?”

“A bit.” Yugyeom admits.

“Do you want to go somewhere to get something to eat?” Jaebum asks. Yugyeom could say no. But he doesn’t really want to. He kind of doesn’t want this night to end. It’s been more fun than he thought.

“Yeah. Sure. Let’s go.”

They wind up at a pojangmacha, too dressed up compared to the people around them, but Yugyeom can’t bring himself to care.

“Your friend is good-looking. And nice.” Yugyeom says mindlessly as he digs into some tteokbokki. Inexplicably, Jaebum’s face tightens.

“He’s an ass.”

“He wasn’t that bad.” Yugyeom says, because Jinyoung really wasn’t. Annoying maybe, but not mean. Not as bad as Jaebum made him out to be.

“I was friends with you before him.” Jaebum says. “And I’m better looking.” Yugyeom laughs, somewhat awkwardly.

“What are you talking about?”

“And besides, you like your roommate.” Jaebum continues, and Yugyeom bursts into laughter.

“Oh my god. I don’t like Jinyoung like that.” The look of relief on Jaebum’s face is almost comical. Yugyeom can hardly believe that he used to think Jaebum was so stoic. “I was just expecting someone nerdier looking. That’s all.”

“I know right? You wouldn’t be able to tell that he was a mega nerd just by looking at him.” Jaebum says with a grin.

“You can’t tell that about you either.”

“I’m not a nerd!” Jaebum sputters out.

“Just a bit. If only about music.”

“Hey! I’m older than you.”

“So?” Yugyeom teases, sticking his tongue out.

“You’re a menace.” Jaebum mutters, but he shoves the plate of tteokbokki closer to Yugyeom anyways.

“I know.” Yugyeom says happily.

—

“How was the party last night?” Youngjae asks the next morning when Yugyeom stumbles out bed.

“Good. Fun.” He says with a yawn.

“Look at you, going to parties with famous people. Don’t forget about the little people.” Bambam adds, snubbed that he didn’t get to go. Yugyeom snorts.

“I won’t, don’t worry.”

“Good. If you don’t watch out, you’ll be the famous one soon.” Youngjae teases, and knocks his shoulder into Yugyeom’s.

“Yeah right. I’m just a grad student.” He replies, but when he thinks about how Jaebum talked about him the night before his heart glows a little bit. For the night he wasn’t just a grad student, he was a cool person who got to hang out with other cool, beautiful people.

“So you and this Jaebum guy are pretty close now.” Youngjae says.

“We’re friends now I guess, like officially.” Yugyeom says.

“Right, friends, that’s what they’re calling it these days Youngjae.” Bambam replies, throwing Yugyeom a wink.

“Good god.” Yugyeom groans. “I’m friends with him the same way I’m friends with Youngjae or you.” He says, not adding that he doesn’t only think of Youngjae as a friend. That probably wouldn’t help sustain his argument. And it isn’t necessarily true that his friendship with Jaebum is the same as his friendship with Bambam and Youngjae. His friendship with Jaebum is something a bit more tender, a bit newer. There’s something that Yugyeom can’t quite put his finger on that thrums below the surface, threatening to emerge.

“If you insist.” Bambam says, leering slightly. Yugyeom can only sigh. His friends are useless sometimes, he swears.

 --

School suddenly gets crazy busy for Yugyeom. Between his own exams, marking, and proctoring other people’s exams, he feels like he’s just a hamster running on a wheel, stuck in place. Despite this, there always seems to be enough time to message Jaebum, to catch up on what’s going on with him.

Their easy rapport has continued, and Yugyeom can feel himself growing more attached to Jaebum than he might have thought.

\-- 

**im jaebum**

**Hey, want to get lunch or something this week?**

**You’ve been working so hard**

**gyeom gyeom**

**i can’t**

**:(**

**too busy**

\--

**im jaebum**

**Are you doing anything saturday afternoon?**

**gyeom gyeom**

**i’m free after 3!**

**why?**  

**im jaebum**

**We should do something**

\--

So Yugyeom finds himself waiting for Jaebum in a coffee shop close to campus on a Saturday afternoon.

Jaebum comes in a few minutes early, and Yugyeom can see him scan the cafe until he sees Yugyeom. 

“Hey.” Jaebum greets. “You look tired.”

“Thanks.” Yugyeom grumbles, but he knows that it’s true. He hasn’t been sleeping much. “You look perfect as always.” Jaebum just laughs.

They chat for an hour, about everything and nothing.

But then Jaebum raises a hand as he talks, and Yugyeom can’t help but hone in on it. There are fresh scratches all over Jaebum’s right hand and wrist — not even at the point of scabbing over yet. It looks like he’s been mauled or something.

“Your hand!” Yugyeom exclaims, grabbing at Jaebum’s arm to bring it closer.

“What are you doing?”

“What did you do to your hand? It’s covered in scratches!” Jaebum doesn’t say anything, so Yugyeom digs around in his backpack until he finds his first-aid kit.

“You don’t have to do that.” Jaebum says, sounding embarrassed, and trying to tug his hand away but Yugyeom grips it tight.

“Just let me look at it.” Yugyeom finds himself pleading, bringing Jaebum’s hand closer. Jaebum sighs, but he lets his arm go slack anyways.

He cleans the scratches with a disinfecting wipe and puts a band-aid on the worst of them — a deep scratch running across the back of Jaebum’s hand, and scraped knuckles. Through the whole process, Jaebum doesn’t move a muscle.

“Why do you even have this stuff?” Jaebum asks, staring intently at Yugyeom’s fingers.

“My roommate, Youngjae is a veterinary student. He winds up with scratches and cuts all the time, and it just became a habit.”

Jaebum pulls his hand away as soon as Yugyeom is done, and if Yugyeom isn’t imagining things, Jaebum is blushing slightly.

“This Youngjae… That’s the guy you like right?” Jaebum asks.

“Yeah.” Yugyeom admits. Jaebum’s mouth twists.

“So you bandage him up?”

“Sometimes.” Jaebum is inexplicably stroking the bandage on his hand now.

“Thank you. For doing this.” Jaebum says, looking at his hand.

“Should I even ask what you were doing to get those?” Yugyeom asks quietly, eager to change the subject.

“It’s probably easier if I just show you.” Jaebum says.

“What?”

“Are you doing anything right now?”

“No.”

“Then, let’s go.” Jaebum says, and before Yugyeom knows it, he’s being tugged toward Jaebum’s car with no other explanation provided.

“But-”

“Just get in Yugyeom.” Jaebum says. So Yugyeom does.

—

On the car ride over, Yugyeom went over in his mind all the different things that could’ve caused Jaebum’s cuts. His number one suspicion is a fight, and the thought that he’s being forced to go be a witness to a fight is scary.

“You won’t let me get hurt will you?” Yugyeom asks, trying to sound extra timid. Maybe if he pretends to be scared, Jaebum won’t take him there. “I know I’m tall but I’m really not that strong.”

“What are you talking about?” Jaebum asks, looking genuinely bewildered in the driver’s seat.

“I’m too young to die.”

“Yeah. Obviously.” Jaebum says. “You’re more in danger of going insane.”

“What?”

“Good god. We’re here.”

Yugyeom peers outside. Jaebum has parks outside a slick, ultra-modern house. Yugyeom realizes that this is bad, that Jaebum must be involved in a fight with the rich and powerful. He’s fucked, he’s so fucked. He’s going to die here.

Jaebum gets out of the car first. Yugyeom stays in the car for a moment longer, trying to collect himself.

“Are you coming?” Jaebum asks, opening the door.

“Um. Yes.” Yugyeom says, and Jaebum offers him a smile.

But when he easily punches in the entry code, and seems to know exactly where he’s going, it’s clear that this is Jaebum’s house.

The inside of the house is just as sleek as the outside -- all clean lines, monochromatic colour schemes, and splashes of tasteful art. They haven’t ever talk about money but its immediately evident that Jaebum is well-off. Despite the modern theme, it feels homey all the same. It has a similar feeling to Jaebum’s studio, in that it feels like an extension of Jaebum.

“Here we are.” Jaebum says, steering Yugyeom into the living room.

“Here?” Yugyeom asks, confused.

“Oh good.” Jaebum says. “Yugyeom, this is everyone. Everyone, meet Yugyeom.”

Yugyeom blinks at the three cats -- the everyone Jaebum is referring to --  standing in front of the fireplace.

“You have three cats?” He asks, staring at them, as they stare back at him, tails low to the ground. 

“Yes.”

“So the scratches are -“

“From playing with my cats.” Jaebum says, sounding somewhat embarrassed. “I know it isn’t that cool.” With that, he squats down and starts petting one of them, only for all of them to swarm him and rub against his legs.

“No, it’s just…” _Cute_ , he thinks unexpectedly. He would’ve never thought of Jaebum as cute before this. “Not what I expected.” He says instead.

One cat comes tentatively toward Yugyeom, and bends down to pet it gently.

“That’s Odd.” Jaebum says, watching Yugyeom.

“What is?”

“The cat. Is named Odd.” Jaebum clarifies with a smile.

“Oh.” Yugyeom says, feeling stupid.

“And that’s Nora, and Kunta.” Jaebum says, pointing out the other two cats. They stick close to Jaebum, eyeing Yugyeom curiously, but never straying too far.

“So you weren’t in a fight?” Yugyeom blurts out before he can stop himself.

“What? No.” Jaebum says. “Is that what you thought?”

“No…”

“So that’s why you were going on about being too young to die in the car.” Jaebum says with a laugh. “Good god.”

“Well, you know… You kind of give off the vibe that you might fight someone.”

“I do not!”

“Just a little bit.”

Jaebum is practically pouting at this point. He looks even cuter like this, Yugyeom realizes, and he doesn’t even know where these thoughts are coming from. Jaebum isn’t his type, not even close. They don’t even get along that well. And Jaebum is most definitely not cute. He’s that badboy kind of hot, but it turns out that he isn’t even really a badboy, he’s just shy.

“Have you eaten?” Jaebum asks, interrupting Yugyeom’s thoughts.

“No. Why?” Yugyeom says, blinking at Jaebum in confusion.

“Do you want dinner?” Jaebum asks suddenly, his jaw sticking out.

“Are you okay?” Yugyeom asks, because Jaebum genuinely looks kind of pained.

“What? Oh, yeah I’m fine.” Jaebum says quickly, shifting his jaw back to normal.

“I could do dinner.” Yugyeom says, not even fully sure why he’s agreeing. But seeing Jaebum with his cats, in his house, has Yugyeom feeling like he’s been let in on some kind of secret part of Jaebum’s life. And it isn’t what he would’ve expected.

Jaebum moves them to the kitchen. It’s well-stocked, with a gorgeous stove and everything. Yugyeom would kill to have a kitchen like this, not the two burners that they have at their apartment.

Except Jaebum really can’t cook. He looks so awkward even just chopping onions, that Yugyeom has to take over.

“I can do it.” Jaebum protests when Yugyeom makes him put the knife down.

“I know you can. But I’m hungry, and I’ll do it faster so we can eat soon.” Yugyeom says, pushing Jaebum away. Jaebum settles down across the island, watching Yugyeom cook.

“You’re a good cook.” Jaebum says after a few minutes.

“Someone in my apartment has to be, and it certainly isn’t Youngjae or Bambam.” Jaebum’s mouth tightens. “Besides, it’s just simple food. I’m really not an amazing cook.”

Yugyeom pretends that he doesn’t see Jaebum giving little pieces of ham to the cats. It’s weirdly endearing that Jaebum has so many cats and cares so much about them.

Despite being a simple meal of fried rice, Jaebum makes a big deal about how good it tastes, and eats heaping seconds.

“Alright, alright. I get it, you’re happy I cooked for you.” Yugyeom grumbles.

“I’m being grateful.” Jaebum responds. “God.” Yugyeom just sticks his tongue out in response.

They clean up together, Jaebum washing the dishes, and Yugyeom drying them.

“Do you want a cup of tea?” Jaebum asks when they’re about to finish, sounding strangely hopeful. Yugyeom probably shouldn’t.

“Yeah, alright.” Yugyeom agrees. “I have some time.”

Jaebum makes them each some tea, and settles them in the living room.

“It doesn’t seem like you have people over often.” Yugyeom comments.

“I don’t.”

“I guess you have to keep them guessing right? Keep up the mysterious act.” Yugyeom says, and is surprised when Jaebum barks out a laugh. He’s never seen Jaebum laugh like that -- so unguarded.

“The cats don’t like strangers.”

“So you haven’t had anyone over?”

“Jinyoung comes over.”

“But what about your girls?” Yugyeom asks, aiming for it to come out as a joke, but he ends up saying it in an accusatory way.

“No. I don’t have them over. Mostly I go to theirs.” Yugyeom hums. “I just don’t- they’re not that important.” Yugyeom visibly winces.

“Ouch. Remind me to never let any of my friends sleep with you.” He says, half-joking.

“It’s hard to date.” Jaebum says tensely. “I’ve just never found someone that I was that interested in.”

“Mmm.” Yugyeom says, and the conversation comes to a lull.

“What is it about Youngjae that you like so much anyways?” Jaebum asks suddenly.

“He’s just… I don’t know. I’ve liked him for so long now that I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t like him.”

“That seems like a fucked up way to think.”

“You’re probably right.” Yugyeom says with a laugh. He stretches out on the sofa so that he’s lying down. “Your house is nice though. If you don’t watch out I’ll come over all the time.” Jaebum snorts softly.

“Of course you’re always welcome.”

“Watch out. Or I’ll actually take you up on that.” And just as he says this, Kunta comes over and settles on his stomach.

“Now you can’t leave.” Jaebum says, pointing to the cat curled up on Yugyeom’s stomach.

They wind up watching TV mindlessly, and making fun of everything. It’s more fun than Yugyeom has had in weeks, and he feels a weird sense of calm.

“Ah, it’s almost midnight.” Jaebum says suddenly.

“Shit. I should head out. It’s late.” Yugyeom says, feeling oddly shy.

“Oh. Right. Of course. Do you want me to-”

“You really don’t have to give me a ride.”

“How did you know that's what I was going to ask? What if I was going to ask you to stay over?” Jaebum asks, tone somewhere between teasing and serious.

“I would say I have work first thing tomorrow morning.” Yugyeom answers smoothly, ignoring the way his heartbeat has sped up. Jaebum stands up, and comes over to scoop Kunta off Yugyeom. His fingers graze Yugyeom’s stomach, leaving strange tingles in their wake. Yugyeom coughs, and stands up quickly. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” Jaebum replies, looking at Yugyeom seriously. “Do you want a ride though?”

“Yeah, actually. Thanks.” Yugyeom says, biting his lip.

\--

Their evening was weirdly domestic, Yugyeom realizes when he gets home. He went over to Jaebum’s house, met his cats, ate dinner together, and had tea in Jaebum’s living room.

He lies awake in his bed for a while, thinking about Jaebum’s fingers on his stomach, how soft Jaebum was to his cats. He feels like he’s just learned something important about Jaebum, and it makes that seemingly impenetrable exterior seem not quite so impenetrable.

Yugyeom doesn’t sleep well that night.

— 

“You were out late last night.” Youngjae says, the next day when they’re in the library studying together.

“Yeah, I was over at a friend’s house.”

“Oh. You must be tired.”

“I am. I’m kind of dead on my feet.”

“Do you want to get coffee later or something? I have a break in between my class and when I have to be at the clinic.”

“Thanks Youngjae-hyung. But I have to go do something.”

“Oh. Okay. Yeah that’s fine.” Youngjae says, but his face falls. On the table, Yugyeom’s phone buzzes. It’s a photo of Jaebum’s cats. Yugyeom quirks a smile. “What is it?”

“Just a friend texting me something cute.”

“You’re sure you can’t hang out later?”

“Yeah. Sorry hyung.”

“I’ll see you at home later then?” Youngjae asks, sounding weirdly sad.

“Of course.” Yugyeom replies smoothly, reaching over the table to squeeze Youngjae’s shoulder. “Bam’s out so we should do something.”

\--

Yugyeom is absolutely dead by the time he gets home. His supervisor was on his ass about work, and he had more assignments to mark than he anticipated.

The apartment is dark when he gets in, which is weird, because normally all the lights are on, the TV is playing, and there’s music in the background too.

The light is on in Youngjae’s room though, so Yugyeom goes over and opens the door without even thinking.

 

And Youngjae is home. He’s home and making out with someone on his bed. Yugyeom feels his heart drop into his stomach. There are hands everyone and someone is moaning. Yugyeom drops his bag of books on the floor, which startles the couple.

“Yugyeom-ah?” Youngjae says, looking positively mortified. The other guy is hiding his face. Yugyeom wants to die.  

“Oh, sorry, let me…” Yugyeom doesn’t even finish his sentence, he just books it out of the apartment as fast as he can.

Youngjae. Kissing someone. And not just kissing, fully making out. Yugyeom feels like he’s about to throw up. He doesn’t even know where he’s going, but he’s outside on the street before he knows it. He’s never going to be able to kiss Youngjae like that. He has no chance. He needs to do something, he needs to distract himself.

Bambam is out, and Mark is probably too busy to listen to Yugyeom’s sappiness.

He dials Jaebum. Jaebum picks up on the second ring.

“Hello?”

“Jaebum?”

“Yeah? What is it? You sound weird.”

“Are you busy right now?”

“Not really.” There’s the distinct sound of a door closing on the other line.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. What’s up?”

“Do you want to hang out?”

“Right now?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright. Want me to meet you somewhere?”

“Where are you?”

“I’m just at the studio-”

“I’ll meet you there.” Yugyeom interrupts smoothly.

He doesn’t speed walk to the subway. Not at all. But he forgot his jacket, along with most everything at home and so he’s freezing by the time he makes it to Jaebum’s studio. Jaebum is waiting in the lobby, looking somewhat anxious. Yugyeom on the other hand, relaxes just at the sight of Jaebum.

“Hey. What’s up?” Jaebum asks, eyes oddly tender.

“I just. I needed some space from someone.” He says, and Jaebum seems to immediately understand. Yugyeom is shivering slightly, because he hadn’t thought it was going to be too cold when he left the house.

“Cold?” Jaebum asks.

“I’m fine.” Yugyeom says, trying to make it so his teeth don’t actually chatter. It was colder than he thought. He isn’t expecting Jaebum to pull off his leather jacket and drape it over his shoulders. “I’m really fine.” He says quietly.

“Take it anyways.” Jaebum says gruffly. “It’s warm inside.” And then, “Did you come all the way here without a jacket?”

“I had to make a fast escape.”

“Can I ask?” Jaebum asks. _From what_ goes unsaid.

“Yeah.” Yugyeom sighs.

“What did you have to run from?”

“I came into my apartment to see my roommate making out with someone.”

“Fuck.” Jaebum says, more of an exhale than anything. “What the fuck?”

“Yeah.”

“Fuck him.” Jaebum declares. “Fuck that.” Yugyeom knows that he made the right choice to come see Jaebum.

“He doesn’t know I like him.”

“But still!” Jaebum insists. “Come on, let’s go get something to drink.”

\--

This is how Yugyeom ends up sitting in a crowded restaurant, knocking knees with Jaebum under the table because there’s no room.

“You can find someone better.” Jaebum says, pouring them both a drink. “What kind of guy do you usually go for?”

Yugyeom pauses to think about that question for a moment. He’s only really liked Youngjae seriously, other than a few small crushes here and there. He likes Youngjae the most out of all of them, but his heart is pulling him away from the clean-cut and cute type. Maybe it’s time for him to like someone different.

“I usually like nice guys.” Jaebum snorts.

“Descriptive.”

“I don’t have a type beyond that.”

“I guess that knocks me off then.” Jaebum says jokingly. Yugyeom whips his head up from where he’s staring at his glass. He stares at Jaebum, who stares back.

“You’re nice though.” Yugyeom says without thinking. “Um.”

“I know what you mean Yugyeom-ah.” Jaebum says, clinking his glass on Yugyeom’s.

“Yugyeom-ah?”

“You can probably call me hyung now.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. You’ve met my cats.”

“Okay. Hyung.” Yugyeom says, testing out how the word sounds in his mouth.

“See? Not so hard.”

“Right.”

“Come on. Cheers to new beginnings.” Jaebum says.

“What kind of new beginnings?”

“Maybe this guy doesn’t like you. But that doesn’t mean that there won’t be someone that does like you.”

“You think?”

“I know.”

\--

They stay out too late. Yugyeom probably should stop making a habit out of staying out late with Jaebum on school nights. But at the same time he can’t help but feel grateful. Spending time with Jaebum really did make him feel better, make him forget about Youngjae.

“What about your jacket?” Yugyeom asks as Jaebum sends him off in a cab.

“Return it the next time you see me.” Jaebum says with a soft smile. Yugyeom’s heart does something funny. His fingers tighten around the jacket without even realizing it.

“I will.”

“Stay warm Yugyeom-ah.” Jaebum says, and turns to leave.

“Wait!” Yugyeom calls out, and Jaebum turns back to face him, looking confused. “Um. I wanted to say thank you for today. I was feeling really crappy about Youngjae, and you really made me feel better.” Jaebum smiles.

“I’m glad.” And then, “I’m here for you. I hope you know that.”

“Thanks hyung.” Yugyeom says, and the smile Jaebum gives in response is practically blinding.

Maybe it’s Jaebum’s jacket, or maybe it’s the soju, or maybe it’s Jaebum’s smile, but Yugyeom is warm on his way home.

\--

Yugyeom creeps back in the apartment, afraid to make any noise and have to face Youngjae. He doesn’t know how he’ll do it. Luckily, Youngjae seems to be asleep, and he has to leave before Yugyeom the next morning, so Yugyeom doesn’t have to see Youngjae.

It continues like this for a week, with Youngjae and Yugyeom dancing around each other, leaving as soon as one person comes in a room. Yugyeom never realized how uncomfortable it was to live with someone you want to avoid.

Bambam seems confused, but Yugyeom just insists that nothing is wrong, and he drops the topic. Truthfully, Yugyeom is just as confused. He wants to talk to Youngjae about it, about who the guy was, but at the same time, he isn’t fully sure if he’s ready to know. What if Youngjae has a secret boyfriend? Yugyeom feels sick just thinking about it.

But on the other hand, Youngjae is his friend first and foremost. If he’s in a relationship, then Yugyeom needs to know.

 --

So he decides to corner Youngjae and talk to him, one evening when they’re both home. He needs to. Youngjae is one of his very best friends, regardless of Yugyeom’s feelings.

“Youngjae-hyung?” Yugyeom calls into Youngjae’s room through his door. There’s no sound, but Yugyeom pushes open the door anyways. Youngjae is sitting at his desk, staring at his phone.

“I didn’t say to come in.” Youngjae says, but he doesn’t sound mad at least.

“Sorry. I want to talk to you.” Yugyeom explains. Youngjae stiffens in his seat, but he doesn’t say no. “It’s about that night a few weeks ago.”

“Ah.”

“I wanted to apologize. I’m not mad or grossed out or anything. I want to be supportive of you and your boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?”

“That guy you were with.” Yugyeom says, cheeks staining red.

“He’s not… My boyfriend.”

“Oh.”

“I’m sorry for avoiding you. I just didn’t know how to respond.” Youngjae stares at him. “I’m supportive of you no matter what.”

“Thanks Yugyeom-ah.” Youngjae says with a smile.

“You’re welcome.” Yugyeom replies, smiling back. “Are we okay?”

“Yeah. We’re okay.”

\--

**gyeom gyeom**

**i made up with youngjae**

**thank u for that night out again**

**im jaebum**

**no problem**

**what are friends for?**

**gyeom gyeom**

**:)**

**im jaebum**

**Oh btw wanna see a show this weekend?**

**i got tickets to a cool dj**

**you don’t have to, i just thought i’d ask anyways**

**gyeom gyeom**

**sounds cool!**

**i’d love to!**

\--

“Are you doing anything on Saturday night?”

“Mmm. I’m going out.” Yugyeom replies.

“What? Where? With who?” Youngjae asks rapidly. Yugyeom laughs.

“Calm down Mom. Jaebum hyung and I are going to a show.”

“Jaebum hyung?”

“Yeah. My friend Jaebum.” Youngjae doesn’t say anything, but his mouth tightens.

“We can do something!” Bambam suggests. “Who needs this loser?” Yugyeom just sticks his tongue out at Bambam in response. Youngjae smiles weakly.

\--

Yugyeom agrees to meet Jaebum at the venue a bit early so they can get something to eat, and then go to the show.

He’s just about at the spot they agreed to meet at when he spots Jaebum, or at least he thinks it could be Jaebum. No, it’s definitely Jaebum, the hair is the same, but it looks like he’s taken out some of his earrings and -

“Are you wearing a button-down shirt?” Yugyeom asks loudly, before he can stop himself. Jaebum turns so Yugyeom can see him fully, and he is. He’s wearing a pastel blue and white striped button-down, with a white shirt underneath and grey slacks. It’s the softest looking Yugyeom has ever seen him.

It’s not a bad look, it’s just definitely different. It softens Jaebum’s harsh edges, makes him look more handsome than sexy, more approachable. Yugyeom hadn’t realized that he’s grown kind of fond of Jaebum’s usual black clothes.

“Uh. Yes?” Jaebum answers, not missing the way Yugyeom is eyeing him up and down.

“Did you have a job interview earlier or something?”

“What?” Jaebum sputters out. “No.”

“So you just decided to switch up your look?” Yugyeom asks, prying purposely now that he sees Jaebum is riled up.

“Let’s just go.” Jaebum mutters.

“Okay hyung.” Yugyeom says.

“You look good though.” Yugyeom says, to break the silence more than anything. “The outfit suits you.”

A slow smile comes across Jaebum’s face.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I was just surprised not to see you in the usual black and leather. But you look, uh good.” He continues, eyes not meeting Jaebum’s. He isn’t even sure why -- it’s not like Jaebum doesn’t know that he’s attractive. He would probably look good in anything.

“You look good too.” Jaebum offers in response.

“I’m in my usual clothes.” Yugyeom says, rolling his eyes. “Thanks anyways though.”

“No.” Jaebum says, looking frustrated. “You look good no matter what.” Yugyeom can’t help the blush that comes over his face.

“Thanks hyung.” He says, unable to meet Jaebum’s eyes.

\--

“Is anything new at work?” Yugyeom asks over Japanese food.

“I’m writing a song right now.” Jaebum blurts out. Yugyeom’s curiosity is piqued. He didn’t know that Jaebum wrote songs.

“Oh. Cool. What about?”

“Uh. You know, this and that.” Jaebum says noncommittally.

“Wow, how descriptive.” Yugyeom says sarcastically.

“It’s about falling in love unexpectedly. And feeling happy and sad about it. Or whatever.”

“You fell in love unexpectedly?”

“What? No!” Jaebum sputters out.

“Fine, fine. We don’t need to talk about it."

“I didn’t.” Jaebum insists, but his eyes aren’t quite meeting Yugyeom’s.

“Alright, I believe you.” Yugyeom says sarcastically.

“How’s school going?” Jaebum asks. Yugyeom sighs.

“The same. Busy. You know how it is.”

“University wasn’t for me. I dropped out.” _I know_ , Yugyeom wants to say, but he doesn’t.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I realized I loved making music more than anything. I got a job at a production house through a friend. So I decided to do that full time, instead of balancing my schoolwork and music.”

“Wow. Well as long as you found a passion.”

“Yeah. I’m happy making music. Happier than I’d ever be as a doctor or whatever the fuck my parents wanted me to be.”

“They wanted that?” Yugyeom finds himself asking.

“Yeah. They took a little while to come around to the idea of me being a producer, working in music. But now they’re supportive.”

“Good. I’m glad.” Yugyeom says. “My parents have always been okay with what I wanted to do. I guess I’m lucky.”

“Is it what you love? Engineering?”

“Yeah. It really is.” Jaebum puts more food on Yugyeom’s plate. “What’s this for?”

“I’m not as hungry as I thought I was. So you eat.”

“I’m not a child.” Yugyeom whines, but he eats the food anyways.

“You’re cute enough.” Jaebum says. Yugyeom makes a cooing noise, and squishes his cheeks together in a weak attempt at aegyo. “Never mind. I take it back.” Jaebum says through his laughter. “Stop!”

“I’ve learned your weakness.” Yugyeom exclaims, and the couple at the table beside them glare. They burst into laughter. Yugyeom teases Jaebum with his cuteness while they finish eating and pay for their meal.

“Come on, let’s go to the show you menace.” Jaebum says, and tugs Yugyeom out into the night.

\--

Yugyeom realizes it one morning when he’s making breakfast for everyone. Youngjae comes shuffling into the kitchen, and Yugyeom realizes it.

He doesn’t like Youngjae as much as he did before, doesn’t feel that same pull towards him. It’s the strangest thing. He knows that Youngjae is attractive, and he knows that Youngjae is cute and funny, and kind, and smart. But there’s a degree of distance between his feelings for Youngjae and the actual Youngjae. Because now there’s someone else creeping into his heart.

He stirs at the pan, and realizes that this has been going on for a little while now. That he was more hurt that Youngjae didn’t tell him about the boy, not that Youngjae had a boy.

And if Yugyeom is being honest, he has a little crush. On someone that he didn’t think he’d have a crush on. Someone who likes leather and fast cars. Who has three cats, and likes RnB music. And maybe it’s been growing steadily, without him even realizing.

Jaebum is dependable, and supportive. He’s always sending Yugyeom motivational quotes when he’s down because of school. He showed up, no questions asked when Yugyeom needed him. Maybe he was a bit of an asshole in the beginning, but that was just him being weird. He just has a misplaced sense of trying to be helpful, Yugyeom has realized. He’s a bit awkward actually, and that’s why it comes off weird. But he means well, he really does, and it feels good to have Jaebum on his side.

Except Jaebum is straight.

Fuck.

\--

After Yugyeom’s realization, he needs to change some things around. It’s kind of like he has to re-calibrate himself, and figure out how to interact with Youngjae without the context of his underlying feelings.

But it doesn’t take long. Youngjae is still one of his best friends first and foremost. The problem lies in pretending that he doesn’t like Jaebum, like they can still hang out and he doesn’t notice Jaebum’s eye moles, and the way his eyes crinkle, and his broad shoulders, and-

Okay. Maybe he does notice all that.

\--

It kind of all starts going downhill when Jaebum invites him to a party at the club they’d been to before. Yugyeom is keen to get out of the house, and get out of his own head. University is crazy as always, and a night out is always welcome.

The club has been decked out differently than the last time Yugyeom was here. The DJ is playing some cool music in another language, and the lights are on brighter.

Lots of people smile and wave at Jaebum, but Jaebum just ignores them. Yugyeom frowns slightly. He isn’t sure why Jaebum is being like this.

Jaebum heads straight up to the roof, not stopping to talk to anyone along the way.

“Why are we going up to the roof?” Yugyeom asks as they climb the stairs.

“I just felt like it.” Jaebum replies, like that explains anything.

“Right. Forget I asked.” Yugyeom mutters. Jaebum snorts.

“I’m going to go talk to someone. Do you want to just stay here?” Yugyeom nods. “I’ll come find you in a few minutes.”

\--

Yugyeom settles down on the couch, and pulls out his phone. He still isn’t really sure why Jaebum brought him up here. But the night air feels good, and it isn’t too cold.

After a few minutes there’s the sound of a door opening, and Yugyeom looks up to see Jinyoung, looking perfect as always. He looks surprised to see Yugyeom, which seems strange.

“Jinyoung, hey.” Yugyeom greets.

“Yugyeom! I didn’t know you were here! Where’s Jaebum?”

“It was a last minute thing. And he’s downstairs somewhere, talking to someone.”  

“Mhmm.” Yugyeom nods. “Can I get you anything? It’s my firm throwing this party.”

“Whoa, it’s amazing!” Yugyeom says and Jinyoung grins. “Seriously, you’re too cool.”

“Don’t let Jaebum hear you saying that.” Yugyeom bursts into laughter.

“Yeah yeah. I won’t. But no, I think I’m okay.”

“If you need anything, just let me know.”

“I will. I think I’m just going to hang out here for a while.”

“Alright.” Jinyoung says, and turns to leave. “Hey Yugyeom?” He calls out.

“Yeah?”

“Do you like him?”

“Hmm?”

“Jaebum. Do you like Jaebum?”

“Yeah. I mean, we’re friends now I guess.”

Jinyoung is silent for a moment.

“That’s not what I was asking, and you know it.” Yugyeom mulls his thoughts over in his mind.  

“He’s attractive, sure, but he told me that he’s straight. So I’m just not thinking about him that way. Maybe I look at him because he’s handsome, but that’s it.” Jinyoung doesn’t say anything. “I know you’re probably looking out for him, so I’m not going to like on him or something.”

“It’s not you that I think is going to hit on him.” Jinyoung mumbles. “I just don’t want him to break your heart.” He adds, louder.

“I just- I just want to be his friend. It doesn’t seem like he has enough of those.” Jinyoung’s face softens at Yugyeom’s words.

“Yugyeom-”

“That’s all I want. I swear. I’m not looking for anything more.” Jinyoung is silent for a moment.

“You’re different than what I initially thought when Jaebum told me about you.” He says.

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No. No. Not at all.” Jinyoung pauses. “He does need more friends. And it seems like you’ve managed to make a space in his heart.”

“I don’t know if I’d go that far.”

“He told me you met his cats?” Jinyoung asks, raising an eyebrow as if he knows something Yugyeom doesn’t.

“Yeah.”

“Then you definitely have a space in his heart.”

“What-” But Yugyeom can’t finish his sentence, because Jinyoung is already leaving.

\--

Yugyeom’s brain is still focussed on Jinyoung’s words by the time Jaebum comes back to find him. He can’t quite believe Jinyoung, but at the same time he wants to. He wants to think that he’s managed to carve out a place inside Jaebum’s heart. They’re polar opposites, but somehow similar in the ways that matter.

“Jaebum-hyung!” Yugyeom greets, smiling at Jaebum. Jaebum smiles back.  Jaebum is back in his black clothes today, looking more comfortable. Jaebum turns and smiles at him, and Yugyeom’s heart thumps in his chest. _Fuckfuckfuck_ , he thinks to himself. Jaebum is so handsome, and when he smiles, it makes him even hotter. And to know that Jaebum is smiling like that at _him_ makes the whole thing even better.

“Hey, you weren’t too lonely up here?”

“No. Jinyoung came by.”

“Oh good. He didn’t bother you too much.”

“Not at all.” Yugyeom says with a laugh. “He’s nice.” His eyes widen. “But not like that! Don’t worry.” Jaebum looks at him funny. “I don’t like him.” For some reason, he wants to add that he doesn’t like Youngjae anymore either, but it’s like his tongue is too heavy for his mouth.

“I figured.” Jaebum says sounding kind of weird.

“Thanks for inviting me out. You probably didn’t have to because you know so many cool people, but thanks anyways.”

“I don’t. Know so many people. I actually don’t have many friends, which is why I wanted you to come.”

“Oh."

“I just don’t like a lot of people knowing me.”

“So you just close yourself off?” Yugyeom blurts out. He seems to have a tendency to do that when Jaebum is around.

“No.” Jaebum says, but he’s carefully avoiding Yugyeom’s eyes.

“It’s not a bad thing to be vulnerable to people knowing you. What if they turn out to be good for you?” Jaebum doesn’t respond, just keeps staring out at the skyline. “You never know who you could meet.”

“But what if they aren’t interested in me? What if they just see me as a way to get somewhere? Something to use.” Jaebum says bitterly.

“Not everyone is like that. Not at all.”

“I just-”

“Do you think I’m like that? That I want to use you somehow?”

“No.” Jaebum admits.

“Then why do you think the world is out for you?”

“It’s happened before. People using me to try and be famous, or get close to the artists I work with.”

“You’re way cooler than them.” Yugyeom says, joking.

“Do you really think that?”

“Yeah. You’re like the coolest person I know.”

“Really?”

“Okay. Maybe in the top three.” Jaebum shoves him with his shoulders, and then Yugyeom shoves him back, so they’re stuck sitting shoulder to shoulder.

“You’re alright too.” Jaebum mumbles.

“I know.” Yugyeom says nonchalantly, and Jaebum shoves his shoulder into Yugyeom’s.

“But I’m glad that we’re friends.” Jaebum says. “Really.”

“Me too.” Yugyeom replies, feeling his traitorous heart beat faster in his chest.

They sit there for a minute longer.

“You ready to go back in?”

“Yeah. Let’s do it.”

The music is absolutely bumping when they make their way back to the dancefloor, something bass-heavy and sexy. It helps to calm Yugyeom’s heartbeat from his conversation with Jaebum. He isn’t sure when Jaebum’s face started to make him overthink like that, or be hyper aware of their interactions.

He downs a drink, and steps away from Jaebum for a moment. He needs some space to get his bearings.

A beautiful girl appears in front of him somewhere between his third and fourth drinks.

“Do you want to dance?” She asks, cocking her head to the side. Yugyeom nods, and follows her onto the dancefloor.

Someone steps in front of her, as if asking wordlessly if they can join. The girl shifts so that she’s dancing between them. It’s Jaebum, Yugyeom realizes, as the room shifts around him funny.

The girl’s arms are around Jaebum’s neck, but Jaebum is staring right at Yugyeom, eyes dark. Yugyeom is transfixed, eyes focused on Jaebum’s. His hips sway against the girls, but it feels like he’s closer to Jaebum. It’s like they’re caught in some kind of bubble, just the two of them, even with someone in between them. Yugyeom should feel bad, but he can’t bring himself to. He’s too fixated on Jaebum.

After a few songs, the girl steps away, wriggling free of them.

Yugyeom is expecting Jaebum to step away too, but he pulls Yugyeom in closer so they’re almost face to face.

For someone straight, Jaebum sure is close to him, Yugyeom thinks. Jaebum’s face is almost in Yugyeom’s neck, and at this distance he can smell Jaebum’s cologne. He smells good, and he’s so close, and then his arms are winding around Yugyeom’s neck, and Yugyeom’s arms are going around Jaebum’s waist.

And then they’re dancing together, slow and dirty, just the two of them. Jaebum is rocking his hips against Yugyeom’s, and Yugyeom is just trying to will himself not to get hard. When he dares to peek at Jaebum, Jaebum is focussed on Yugyeom -- eyes dark and intense. Yugyeom can only gulp, and stay looking at Jaebum.

They dance for what seems like forever, until Yugyeom feels like he can’t possibly stay that close to Jaebum before he combusts.

He pulls away, and his whole body is tingling and too warm. But Jaebum follows him, leaning in, seeming suddenly impossibly close. Yugyeom’s heart is hammering in his chest. He turns away, so his cheek is facing Jaebum. So nothing can happen between them.

“What?” Jaebum asks.

“It’s late, so I should get going.” Yugyeom says quickly.

“You can stay over at my place, if you want. It’s late.” Jaebum says, eyes almost glittering.

“Yeah. Okay.” Yugyeom finds himself agreeing, even though he gets the distinct feeling that he’s like a deer being led straight into a bear’s cave. It barely registers in the back of his mind that this is a terrible idea. They just _danced like that_ , and now he’s agreeing to go back to Jaebum’s house. Alone. No one else around.

He lets Jaebum pull him out of the club, and he knows what it looks like. Honestly Yugyeom isn’t even sure what to expect himself. Does Jaebum want to kiss him? To finish what they started?

The cab ride to Jaebum’s house is quiet, with both Jaebum and Yugyeom looking out the window. And Yugyeom at least is trying to pretend that they didn’t just grind on each other. Him. Jaebum. Dancing like that. He doesn’t know what came over him.

Jaebum pays for the cab, before Yugyeom can do it, and then he’s back in Jaebum’s house.

He watches Jaebum greet the cats hello, and then stumble into the kitchen to get them something to drink.

“Shit.” Jaebum mutters as he pours them some water. “I had too much to drink.” Yugyeom doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t even know what to say. He doesn’t even know if he should say anything. “Let me get you something to sleep in.” Jaebum mumbles, and beckons Yugyeom to follow him upstairs.

Despite all the times that he’s been over to Jaebum’s house, he’s never been in Jaebum’s bedroom before. It should feel like a big step, but it isn’t really. It’s just a room. A nice room, with a big bed and- Yugyeom needs to stop his brain right there.

Jaebum hands him a t-shirt, and some shorts.

“Here. They’re probably too small but whatever.”

“Thanks.” Yugyeom says with a grateful smile, and turns to leave.

“Where are you going?” Jaebum asks.

“Downstairs?”

“Why?”

“I’m sleeping on the sofa?” Yugyeom says.

“You can sleep on the bed with me. If you want.” Jaebum says quietly. His words are slurred. _He’s drunk_ , Yugyeom reminds himself. _He doesn’t want this like I want this_.

“I want to sleep on the sofa.” Yugyeom forces himself to say, and flees.

\--

Yugyeom wakes up the next morning on Jaebum’s sofa, with a crick in his neck. He doesn’t even remember falling asleep, but he definitely remembers the night before with Jaebum. _Fuck_ , he thinks and leans his head back on the cushion.

There’s a rustling noise, and then footsteps, and suddenly Jaebum is in front of him. He’s shirtless, and Yugyeom is pretty sure that he’s died and gone to heaven. He wants to lick Jaebum’s abs.

“Um.” Jaebum says, causing Yugyeom to look up at Jaebum’s face. “Good morning.”

“Good morning.” Yugyeom squeaks out.

“I’m sorry about last night.”

“What about it?”

“If I acted weird or anything.”

“You didn’t.”

“Oh. Okay.” Jaebum says, and he sounds oddly disappointed. Yugyeom is trying to keep his eyes from straying onto Jaebum’s abs again.

“Yeah. It was fine.”

“Just making sure. I think I had a bit too much to drink. I can’t quite remember, so I wanted to make sure I didn’t do anything weird.”

“No. You didn’t.” Yugyeom says. It’s kind of a lie, Jaebum was acting totally weird, but Yugyeom wasn’t actively discouraging him. Even just for a moment, it felt like Jaebum wanted him. And it was nice to feel wanted back. He should’ve done something to stop Jaebum, but he didn’t. “Really.”

\--

That night sticks in Yugyeom’s head despite his best intentions. He can’t get the feeling of Jaebum’s body pressed up next to his out of his head. He can’t forget the sight of Jaebum looking at him like he wanted to eat him. He doesn’t want to forget the image of Jaebum shirtless and soft from sleep.

It’s harder to insist that nothing is going on when Bambam teases him, and when Mark rolls his eyes when he sees Yugyeom hanging out in Jaebum’s studio. Because Yugyeom wants there to be something going on.

\--

But maybe things really start to change when Jaebum meets Youngjae.

Yugyeom is at university, walking Youngjae to class.

“Yugyeom-ah!” Someone calls out. Yugyeom turns to see Jaebum striding toward him, looking effortlessly handsome like usual.

“Hyung?”

“Hello!”

“Hello?” Youngjae says from beside him.

“Ah, Jaebum-hyung, this is Youngjae.” Yugyeom says with a smile. “Youngjae-hyung, this is Jaebum.”

“Ah, nice to meet you.” Jaebum says with a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Nice to meet you too! Yugyeom-ah talks about you all the time.” Youngjae says with a bright smile. Yugyeom elbows him to shut up. Jaebum looks amused, but he takes a step so he’s standing closer to Yugyeom.

“What are you doing here?” Yugyeom asks Jaebum.

“I thought I would see if you were free for dinner.” Jaebum says, and runs a hand down Yugyeom’s arm. He doesn’t shiver. He doesn’t.

“You could’ve texted.” Jaebum shrugs, and lets his hand linger on Yugyeom. Youngjae stares at them.

“I was in the area.”

“Oh.” Yugyeom says, and his stupid face starts to blush. “You didn’t need to.”

“I don’t mind.” Jaebum says with a shrug.

“Youngjae-hyung, do you want to come?” Yugyeom asks politely.

“I have to go, I have a shift tonight at the clinic. Otherwise I would.” Youngjae answers, looking regretful.

“It’s fine.” Yugyeom says. Jaebum doesn’t say anything. “I’ll see you at home?”

“Yeah. Bring me leftovers!”

“Bye!” Jaebum says, eyes flashing dark. He looks more intimidating than Yugyeom has seen him in ages. “Yugyeom-ah and I have plans.”

Jaebum then grabs Yugyeom’s arm, and all but drags him away. Yugyeom can only shoot Youngjae an apologetic look as Jaebum pulls him away.

“Woah. Calm down.” Yugyeom says, shaking his arm free from Jaebum’s grip. Jaebum whirls around to face him.

“He doesn’t deserve you.” Jaebum says in a low voice. He seems weirdly agitated, Yugyeom thinks.

“Jaebum-hyung. Calm down. It’s okay. I know he doesn’t like me.”

“You just- You need someone who will like you back.” Jaebum says, eyes softening. “You’re so giving, and caring. And you put so much energy into someone who doesn’t like you back.”

Yugyeom is silent, eyes roaming over Jaebum’s face. Jaebum is looking at him oddly seriously, like this is some kind of declaration. Yugyeom opens his mouth to say something, and then shuts it. He doesn’t even know what to say.

“Come on, let’s just go get dinner. I want meat.” He settles on saying. “Asshole.” There’s no heat to his words.

“I made reservations somewhere.”

“You made reservations? And somehow swung by because you were in the neighbourhood?” Yugyeom asks, seeing right through Jaebum’s white lie.

“Yeah.” Jaebum answers casually. “I just felt like it.”

“Alright.” Yugyeom decides that he won’t push the topic any further.

Except Jaebum made them a reservation at a fancy new restaurant that Yugyeom recognizes because Bambam wanted to go. Bambam had lamented that it was almost impossible to get in, and here is Jaebum just waltzing in.

“Jaebum.” Yugyeom says, halting before they can go in the door.

“What?

“I can’t- you said dinner!”

“This is dinner.”

“This is fancy dinner. I can’t afford this.”

“My friend owns it. Dinner’s on the house.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Now come on, I’m hungry.” Jaebum says, and grabs Yugyeom’s hand to pull him inside. Yugyeom doesn’t understand why his arm feels tingly from Jaebum’s touch.

“Jaebum-ah!” A loud voice calls out as soon as Jaebum gives his name to the girl standing at the front, and someone comes bounding up to the two of them. Jaebum instantly reaches out and pulls the man in for a hug.

“Jackson-ah. I thought I told you to call me hyung.”

“You did. I just ignore you, like always.” The man says with an easy grin. Yugyeom figures that they must know each other well, for Jaebum to act so comfortably. “Ah! Who is this? You asked for a table for two?”

“This is Kim Yugyeom. He knows Mark too.”

“Oh! Yugyeom! It’s nice to finally meet you! Jaebum has been mentioning you for ages now!” The man exclaims. “I’m Wang Jackson!” The name sounds vaguely familiar -- Yugyeom thinks Mark mentioned him sometime.

“Hello.” Yugyeom says brightly, choosing to ignore that this is the second friend of Jaebum’s that he’s met that says that Jaebum talks about him.

“I haven’t been mentioning you for ages.” Jaebum grumbles.

“We’ll just pretend that isn’t true.” Jackson retorts, and ushers them into the dining room.

Just as Bambam had said, the food is delicious. Yugyeom knows that Bambam will be jealous, and he takes a few photos of the food.

Jaebum is subdued during their meal, only making small talk. It isn’t uncomfortable though, and that speaks to how far their relationship has come, to how they don’t need to fill the silence, they can just enjoy each others company. And Yugyeom realizes something.

His attraction has grown into something stronger. Despite what he’d told Jinyoung, he’s gone and fallen for Jaebum. Stupid, straight Jaebum. With his stupid handsome face, and stupid free laugh, and stupid nice car.  Yugyeom wants to bang his head against a wall. He’s so fucking stupid.

“Are you okay?” Jaebum asks. “You look tense.”

“Nope. I just thought of something for school is all.” He lies.

“Okay. Oh! By the way, I finished that song I was working on.” Jaebum says.

“The one about love?”

“That’s the one.”

“Are you going to try and sell it?”

“I’m not sure. I kind of want to keep this song for myself.”

“Personal huh? So you did go and fall in love with someone.” Yugyeom teases. Jaebum blanches, but he doesn’t say anything. “Yeah yeah, I know. You didn’t.”

“I’m not too sure.” Jaebum says quietly. “I don’t know for sure.”

“How do you not know?” Yugyeom asks with a laugh.

“It’s been a while since I liked someone this much.” Jaebum replies, eyes too bright. Yugyeom swallows heavily. So Jaebum does like someone. He hasn’t seen Jaebum with a girl in a while, but Jaebum must see her often.

“Oh. Is she pretty?” Yugyeom asks, trying not to sound too crushed.

“Not at all.”

“Hmm.” Yugyeom says, and focuses on finishing his food.

Jaebum doesn’t provide any other details about the girl he likes, despite Yugyeom fishing for details. He can’t help but think about all the beautiful girls that he’s seen Jaebum with.

True to his word though, Jackson won’t let them pay, and only ushers them out after making them both promise that they’ll be back.

“Sorry about Jackson. He’s a little…” Jaebum says awkwardly as they walk to the subway station.

“He’s nice.” Yugyeom says. “I’m glad I got to meet him.”

“Me too.” Jaebum says with a soft smile. Yugyeom’s stupid stupid heart is freaking out.

“Will you let me meet her?” Yugyeom blurts out.

“Who?”

“The girl you like.”

“You’ve already met them.” Jaebum says stiffly. “Can we not talk about this any more?”

“Fine.” Yugyeom grumbles. “Whatever. You met Youngjae, even though I don’t like him anymore.”

“What?” Jaebum snaps.

“What?”

“What did you just say?”

“That you met Youngjae?”

“No. After that.”

“I don’t like him anymore.” Yugyeom says, cheeks flushing red. He realizes that he never told Jaebum that. Not that it really matters.

“Since when?”

“A while now.” Jaebum is silent for a moment.

“I’m glad.” He says finally.

\--

Jaebum’s weird reaction causes Yugyeom to think. And he realizes that he needs help.

He adds Jinyoung on SNS, and messages him to invite him for coffee. He figures that at least Jinyoung won’t insult him like Bambam or Mark would. Actually he isn’t even sure how Mark would react at all. And Youngjae… Yugyeom doesn’t want to think about that after Jaebum was so weird to him.

So Jinyoung it is.

\--

Jinyoung meets him for coffee one day at a coffee shop near campus, sweeping in and causing all heads to turn in the cafe. Yugyeom should’ve known better.

They chat about this and that -- about Jinyoung’s work, and Yugyeom’s school -- all while skirting the obvious question of what they’re doing there.

“Not that I mind, but why did you ask me for coffee today?” Jinyoung asks. Yugyeom sighs, and decides to just go for it.

“You know how you asked me if I liked Jaebum hyung?”

“Mhmm.”

“I actually didn’t when you asked. But now I do.” Yugyeom confesses. It feels good to say it out loud finally, to admit his feelings to someone other than himself. Jinyoung whistles.

“Wow. I didn’t think you’d admit it so soon.” He says with a teasing smile.

“Jinyoung-hyung!” Yugyeom whines. “I’m trying to spill my feelings here.”

“I know Yugyeom-ah.” Jinyoung says, and throws his arm around Yugyeom’s shoulders. “I’m proud of you.”

“What a mess. I like him, and he doesn’t like me back.” Yugyeom grumbles. “I went from one crush to another and I have no chance with either of them.”

“Mmm. I wouldn’t be so sure of that though.” Jinyoung muses. “Jaebum never shuts up about you.”

“He does not.”

“I’m being serious Yugyeom-ah. I think you should tell him how you feel. You might be surprised.”

“He told me he likes someone.”

“Because he does.” Jinyoung replies with a smile.

“Yeah. A girl.”

“Did he say that?”

“He said that he hasn’t liked someone in a while.”

“He said exactly that?”

“Yeah.”

“Then that doesn’t meant that he likes a girl. That means that he likes you.” Yugyeom sighs. “You need to tell him.”

“How can I do that?”

“You guys hang out all the time. You’ll figure something out.”

“You’re so helpful.” Yugyeom grumbles. “Not. Also, how do I know you aren’t going to just tell Jaebum yourself?”

“What would be the fun in that?” Jinyoung says with a laugh. “I love watching people squirm.”  

Yugyeom groans.

“I just don’t know what to do.”

“Tell him.” Jinyoung repeats. “I know he isn’t totally straight because he kind of had this thing with his friend Jackson.” Yugyeom almost spits out his coffee.

“Jackson Wang?”

“You’ve met him?”

“Yeah.”

“Wait, he had a thing with him? He never said anything!”

“Because Jackson is straight. But Jaebum…”

“So maybe I have a chance?”

“That’s what I’ve been telling you.” Jinyoung says exasperatedly.

\--

It must say something about Yugyeom’s sanity that he’s actually considering Jinyoung’s idea. He really does like Jaebum, but he doesn’t know if Jaebum likes him back. Except there was that night that they danced together, and then the time Jaebum got all weird in front of Youngjae. That can’t have been nothing. Jaebum was acting like he was interested in Yugyeom. It made him feel a flutter of hope that just maybe Jaebum likes him back.

And unlike Youngjae, he and Jaebum don’t live together. If it turns out that Jaebum doesn’t like him, then Yugyeom can just ignore him. Easy.

\--

Except he chickens out. Jaebum invites him out for lunch and Yugyeom can’t make his mouth say the words. They spend weekend afternoons at Jaebum’s house -- reading and studying, and Yugyeom just can’t. He can’t mess up what they have going.

But he still wants to. He still feels that tug whenever Jaebum smiles at him, or grabs his hand, or offers to drive him home. He wants to hold Jaebum’s hand, and kiss him, and rest his head on Jaebum’s shoulder.

\--

Then it comes to him -- they came together through music, so it’s only appropriate for Yugyeom to take them further through music.

\--

 **gyeom gyeom**  

 **can i hear your song?**  

**im jaebum**

**???**  

 **gyeom gyeom**  

**the one u just finished**

**im jaebum**  

**Do you really want to**

**gyeom gyeom**

  **yes**

**im jaebum**

**okay**

\--

Yugyeom can’t wait. So he heads over to the studio after class the next day, his whole body practically thrumming with anticipation.

Jaebum looks tired when he greets Yugyeom, but handsome as always, and his face lights up at the sight of Yugyeom. Yugyeom can’t help but feel a spark of hope.

“I don’t know why you want to even listen.” Jaebum says.

“Of course I want to listen.” Yugyeom replies, like Jaebum is dumb.

“It’s just a silly song.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

Just like the first time he came to Jaebum’s studio, Jaebum hands him the headphones and presses play. And Yugyeom is floored.

It’s Jaebum singing in the song, and his voice is raw with emotion. Yugyeom feels himself choke up. It’s so clear that Jaebum loves someone so deeply. And he wants it to be him. So when the song is over, he takes his headphones off, and takes a chance.

“Jaebum-hyung?” Yugyeom asks, voice sounding tiny.

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” Jaebum says, eyes revealing his confusion. He’s probably expecting Yugyeom to ask him about music.

“It’s about that night at the club, the night I slept over.”

“Mhmm?”

“Do you actually not remember what happened? Or were you pretending not to remember?”

“Why?” Jaebum asks, voice too light.

“I want to know.”

“Does it matter?”

“Yes. It matters. To me.”

“But-”

“We danced together. Do you remember that?” Yugyeom demands, and Jaebum gulps slightly, his eyes flicking away from Yugyeom’s.

“Yes.” Jaebum answers quietly.

“I don’t dance with all my friends like that. I only dance with you like that.”

“What do you mean?"

“Is it just me that’s feeling this?”

“This?” Jaebum asks.

“This.” Yugyeom says, pointing to Jaebum and then himself. “What are we doing? Because it’s not being friends.”

“Do you not want to be friends with me?”

“That’s not what I mean, and you know it.”

“Yugyeom-ah.” Jaebum says seriously. Yugyeom feels like he’s being pinned down just by Jaebum’s eyes. He wants to make a joke, he should make a joke -- break the tension that’s sitting heavily between the two of them. Jaebum takes a step towards Yugyeom. Yugyeom wants to move away, he should move away. He doesn’t move away. His eyes are fixed on Jaebum’s -- watching the way Jaebum watches him.

Yugyeom takes a step toward Jaebum without even meaning to. He just feels this gravity towards Jaebum that he can’t explain. Maybe it’s been there all along.

“Tell me no if I read this wrong.” Jaebum says quietly, just barely more than a whisper. He’s so close that Yugyeom can’t even think properly. He doesn’t want to think. He just wants Jaebum.

Jaebum kisses him, and everything comes to a halt. There’s just Jaebum kissing him. Yugyeom feels himself move closer to Jaebum, and then there are arms pulling him in so they’re impossibly close together.

Jaebum is an incredibly good kisser. Yugyeom doesn’t even want to know how many people he’s kissed to be able to kiss like he does. He kisses likes there’s nothing else in the world he wants to be doing, like he exists at this moment just to kiss Yugyeom. And Yugyeom is dizzy with it, dizzy with desire.

“Is this okay?” Jaebum asks softly. It’s strange to think of him like that, so soft and careful with him. Yugyeom assumed that he’d be all dominant, and controlling, but he’s surprisingly gentle and considerate.

“Um. Yes?”

“I don’t want you to ask me, I want you to tell me if it’s okay. I can’t do it if it’s not okay.”

“Yes. It’s okay.” Yugyeom replies, and he surges forward to kiss Jaebum first this time. Jaebum is smiling when he kisses him, Yugyeom can feel it.

“I wrote the song about you.” Jaebum whispers.

“I hoped so.” Yugyeom whispers back. “I hoped it wasn’t just me feeling what we have going on between us.”

“It’s not. It’s definitely not.”

“So you’re not-”

“I like you.” Jaebum responds quickly. “I don’t know what that means for me. But I like you.”

“I like you too.” Yugyeom says, reaching to intertwine their fingers. Jaebum’s hand is a little sweaty, but he holds Yugyeom’s hand tightly, like he’s afraid that Yugyeom will let go or something.

“I’m glad.” Jaebum says, and kisses Yugyeom again, still holding onto his hand. "Because I'm kind of fucking crazy about you." 

"Since when?" Yugyeom whispers. 

"Since the first time I met you honestly." 

"What? Really?"

"Yeah. I know you hated me. But still." Jaebum says with a shrug. 

"I didn't... Well maybe a little bit. But I still thought you were hot." Jaebum smiles at him.

"I am." 

"But then I found out how great you are beyond your looks. And I knew I was fucked. I realized that I didn't like Youngjae any more. Because I like you." Jaebum is grinning unabashedly at this point. 

"Good. Because I was kind of wooing you." 

"You really weren't very obvious about it until the end." Yugyeom chastises. 

"I was trying!" Jaebum insists. And maybe it wasn't obvious, but Yugyeom supposes that it worked out okay in the end, because Jaebum's hand is still in his. 

\--

Bambam doesn’t seem too surprised to come into the apartment one day to find Yugyeom curled up next to Jaebum, watching TV.

“Ah, so this is the hot guy again. Yugyeom-ah… You dog.” Bambam says with a huge grin.

“Please go away.” Yugyeom mutters. “And his name is Jaebum.”

“Is it?” Bambam asks, grin growing even larger.

“Yes. Hello again.” Jaebum says politely.

“Is he staying over tonight?” Bambam asks. Jaebum just coughs uncomfortably. Yugyeom doesn’t know what he expected. “Do I need to put on my noise cancelling headphones?”

“No!” Jaebum yelps.

“No to which question?” Bambam asks. “I’m not into voyeurism-” Bambam can’t finish his sentence because Yugyeom has thrown two cushions at him.

\--

Youngjae seems a little hesitant to accept their relationship, but after Jaebum apologizes profusely for how weird he was, he warms up. A bit. It also helps when Jaebum invites everyone over for dinner, and Yugyeom sees the way Youngjae stares at Jinyoung.

“Watch out.” Jaebum whispers in his ear, wrapping his arms around Yugyeom’s waist. “Jinyoung loves cute things.”

“Mmm. What about you?” Yugyeom asks, turning his face so that he can nuzzle into Jaebum.

“Can we please keep this PG?” Bambam groans as he spots the two of them. “Blegh.”

“We’re not even doing anything.” Yugyeom says.

“You’re thinking it.” Bambam accuses. And maybe he isn’t wrong. But it isn’t Yugyeom’s fault that he has such a hot boyfriend.

\--

Mark’s reaction is the most unexpected. Yugyeom was scared to tell him, but somehow, surprisingly Mark doesn’t seem surprised.

“Oh.” He says after Yugyeom nervously confesses. “You weren’t dating before?” Yugyeom’s jaw drops.

“What? No!”

“Oh. Oops.” Mark says, not sounding guilty at all. 

“Oops?”

“I just… figured maybe you were.”

“Why?”

“You two haven’t shut up about each other since you met. That has to mean something.”

Yugyeom supposes that it does.


End file.
